relationships (Genesis 34:1-31) Dealing with Danger

(Genesis 34:1-31)  Now Dinah the daughter of Leah, whom she had borne to Jacob, went out to visit the daughters of the land. 2 When Shechem the son of Hamor the Hivite, the prince of the land, saw her, he took her and lay with her by force. 3 He was deeply attracted to Dinah the daughter of Jacob, and he loved the girl and spoke tenderly to her. 4 So Shechem spoke to his father Hamor, saying, “Get me this young girl for a wife.” 5 Now Jacob heard that he had defiled Dinah his daughter; but his sons were with his livestock in the field, so Jacob kept silent until they came in. 6 Then Hamor the father of Shechem went out to Jacob to speak with him. 7 Now the sons of Jacob came in from the field when they heard it; and the men were grieved, and they were very angry because he had done a disgraceful thing in Israel by lying with Jacob’s daughter, for such a thing ought not to be done.

8 But Hamor spoke with them, saying, “The soul of my son Shechem longs for your daughter; please give her to him in marriage. 9 Intermarry with us; give your daughters to us and take our daughters for yourselves. 10 Thus you shall live with us, and the land shall be open before you; live and trade in it and acquire property in it.” 11 Shechem also said to her father and to her brothers, “If I find favor in your sight, then I will give whatever you say to me. 12 Ask me ever so much bridal payment and gift, and I will give according as you say to me; but give me the girl in marriage.”

13 But Jacob’s sons answered Shechem and his father Hamor with deceit, because he had defiled Dinah their sister. 14 They said to them, “We cannot do this thing, to give our sister to one who is uncircumcised, for that would be a disgrace to us. 15 Only on this condition will we consent to you: if you will become like us, in that every male of you be circumcised, 16 then we will give our daughters to you, and we will take your daughters for ourselves, and we will live with you and become one people. 17 But if you will not listen to us to be circumcised, then we will take our daughter and go.”

18 Now their words seemed reasonable to Hamor and Shechem, Hamor’s son. 19 The young man did not delay to do the thing, because he was delighted with Jacob’s daughter. Now he was more respected than all the household of his father. 20 So Hamor and his son Shechem came to the gate of their city and spoke to the men of their city, saying, 21 “These men are friendly with us; therefore let them live in the land and trade in it, for behold, the land is large enough for them. Let us take their daughters in marriage, and give our daughters to them. 22 Only on this condition will the men consent to us to live with us, to become one people: that every male among us be circumcised as they are circumcised. 23 Will not their livestock and their property and all their animals be ours? Only let us consent to them, and they will live with us.” 24 All who went out of the gate of his city listened to Hamor and to his son Shechem, and every male was circumcised, all who went out of the gate of his city.

25 Now it came about on the third day, when they were in pain, that two of Jacob’s sons, Simeon and Levi, Dinah’s brothers, each took his sword and came upon the city unawares, and killed every male. 26 They killed Hamor and his son Shechem with the edge of the sword, and took Dinah from Shechem’s house, and went forth. 27 Jacob’s sons came upon the slain and looted the city, because they had defiled their sister. 28 They took their flocks and their herds and their donkeys, and that which was in the city and that which was in the field; 29 and they captured and looted all their wealth and all their little ones and their wives, even all that was in the houses. 30 Then Jacob said to Simeon and Levi, “You have brought trouble on me by making me odious among the inhabitants of the land, among the Canaanites and the Perizzites; and my men being few in number, they will gather together against me and attack me and I will be destroyed, I and my household.” 31 But they said, “Should he treat our sister as a harlot?”

TODAY'S THOUGHTS AND MEDITATION:

Obviously, rape is wrong, but so is lying, looting and murdering!   So - as the Bible tells us that we should not live in fear of people - what are the things we can learn from this and what should be done?

There are times our children cannot be in our sight, and over time they will become more and more independent, so while we can, we have to teach them God's will and how to be careful. If there is any odd behavior in our children, there are right and wrong ways to ask them about it. If anything inappropriate was ever done, don't accuse them of lying or exaggerating, do not overreact, and do not tell them that it was their fault.  Seek the help of professionals and the proper authorities!

We are to be angry at injustice, but we are not to seek revenge. Let God and the proper authorities handle the justice in these things.  People who commit crimes generally try to justify their actions, although sometimes they will recognize their sin and seek out forgiveness from God and their victims.  Forgiveness is key!  Whether one sees the offender or not!  Whether the offender apologizes or not.  Forgiving them is NOT saying that what they did was okay. It is to find spiritual and emotional healing and peace for one's self.   It also helps one to not become fearful or bitter.  And who knows, maybe the offender becomes a believer because of this.

As parents, we can certainly help to lessen the possibilities of something like this happening to our own children. We need to teach them age-appropriate things in order to equip them for life. We cannot be helicopter parents, but we can supervise and monitor them and help them avoid toxic environments, as well as teach them to be wise in the Lord to stand firm, and/or to know when and how to get out of dangerous situations.

Most importantly, we should always be praying and trusting the Lord in all things. While we are to love all people, that doesn't mean we are to naively trust everyone.  And while we can most often avoid toxic and dangerous environments, we are not able to completely escape the potential of harm. Running for the hills is actually not the answer!   Statistics show that children living in rural areas are more likely to be kidnapped and/or raped, simply because they are more isolated and people tend to be more trusting of others.

As we are in this world, but not of this world, how are we to effectively navigate?

(1 Timothy 2:1-4)  First of all, then, I urge that requests, prayers, intercession, and thanksgiving be made in behalf of all people, 2 for kings and all who are in authority, so that we may lead a tranquil and quiet life in all godliness and dignity. 3 This is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Savior, 4 who wants all people to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth.

(Mark 16:15)  And He said to them, “Go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation.

(Matthew 7:15)  “Beware of the false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly are ravenous wolves.

(Matthew 6:9-13)   “Pray, then, in this way: ‘Our Father, who is in heaven, hallowed be Your name.  10 Your kingdom come. Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. 11 Give us this day our daily bread. 12 And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. 13 And do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from evil."

(1 Peter 3:8-17)  To sum up, all of you be harmonious, sympathetic, loving, compassionate, and humble; 9 not returning evil for evil or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead; for you were called for the very purpose that you would inherit a blessing. 10 For, “The one who desires life, to love and see good days, must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit. 11 He must turn away from evil and do good; he must seek peace and pursue it. 12 For the eyes of the Lord are toward the righteous, and His ears attend to their prayer, but the face of the Lord is against evildoers.” 13 And who is there to harm you if you prove zealous for what is good? 14 But even if you should suffer for the sake of righteousness, you are blessed. And do not fear their intimidation, and do not be in dread, 15 but sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts, always being ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you, but with gentleness and respect; 16 and keep a good conscience so that in the thing in which you are slandered, those who disparage your good behavior in Christ will be put to shame. 17 For it is better, if God should will it so, that you suffer for doing what is right rather than for doing what is wrong.

relationships (Genesis 33:1-20) Giving and Receiving Gifts

(Genesis 33:1-20)  Then Jacob lifted his eyes and looked, and behold, Esau was coming, and four hundred men with him. So he divided the children among Leah and Rachel and the two maids. 2 He put the maids and their children in front, and Leah and her children next, and Rachel and Joseph last. 3 But he himself passed on ahead of them and bowed down to the ground seven times, until he came near to his brother.

4 Then Esau ran to meet him and embraced him, and fell on his neck and kissed him, and they wept. 5 He lifted his eyes and saw the women and the children, and said, “Who are these with you?” So he said, “The children whom God has graciously given your servant.” 6 Then the maids came near with their children, and they bowed down. 7 Leah likewise came near with her children, and they bowed down; and afterward Joseph came near with Rachel, and they bowed down. 8 And he said, “What do you mean by all this company which I have met?” And he said, “To find favor in the sight of my lord.” 9 But Esau said, “I have plenty, my brother; let what you have be your own.” 10 Jacob said, “No, please, if now I have found favor in your sight, then take my present from my hand, for I see your face as one sees the face of God, and you have received me favorably. 11 Please take my gift which has been brought to you, because God has dealt graciously with me and because I have plenty.” Thus he urged him and he took it.

12 Then Esau said, “Let us take our journey and go, and I will go before you.” 13 But he said to him, “My lord knows that the children are frail and that the flocks and herds which are nursing are a care to me. And if they are driven hard one day, all the flocks will die. 14 Please let my lord pass on before his servant, and I will proceed at my leisure, according to the pace of the cattle that are before me and according to the pace of the children, until I come to my lord at Seir.”

15 Esau said, “Please let me leave with you some of the people who are with me.” But he said, “What need is there? Let me find favor in the sight of my lord.” 16 So Esau returned that day on his way to Seir. 17 Jacob journeyed to Succoth, and built for himself a house and made booths for his livestock; therefore the place is named Succoth.

18 Now Jacob came safely to the city of Shechem, which is in the land of Canaan, when he came from Paddan-aram, and camped before the city. 19 He bought the piece of land where he had pitched his tent from the hand of the sons of Hamor, Shechem’s father, for one hundred pieces of money. 20 Then he erected there an altar and called it El-Elohe-Israel.

TODAY'S THOUGHTS AND MEDITATION: 

In some cultures and with some people it is a great insult not to offer help or give a gift to a host or a visitor, even if they say, "Oh this wasn't necessary or expected".  As well, in some cultures, it is a great insult to turn down someone's gift or their help when offered, so we see these two brothers bending over backwards to make this reconciliation work.  Remember, Jacob did steal from Esau, so this was much more than a "visiting scenario", there was some compensation involved.  

At times there can be a fine line between giving and accepting something with strings attached and giving and accepting something with love and grace.  So it is helpful to be praying and asking for wisdom in these circumstances in order to do the right thing.

I just quickly looked up the 5 different love languages developed by Dr. Gary Chapman, which are to somehow help marriages work better.  While he might be a Christian, he doesn't claim these are biblical.  These are the basic ways that people tend to feel that they are loved.  The "5 languages" are:  receiving gifts, acts of service, words of affirmation, quality time and physical touch.  

Let's be very clear here, these are the things that people tend to WANT, not the things they use to show their love.  NO WHERE in the Bible does it say that we are to expect or demand these things from others!  We are not to be selfish or self-centered!  Now, with our spouse, what we can do is let them know what we desire, then it is up to them to adjust.  But what we need to do always, is focus on how we can show unconditional love.  When both spouses give 100%, both will get 100%!

Now let's go over what God says about these "love language" things. 

- PHYSICAL TOUCH: please, do hug and kiss your children!  Appropriately hug your friends!  And within marriage, NEVER withhold!!!  But in public, don't be clingy exhibitionists.  This only reveals that your love is very insecure.  Work out these things in private.  (marriages need to apply 1 Corinthians 7:1-5)

- QUALITY TIME: "quality" certainly doesn't have to be about spending lots of money doing things and then having to always top that.  And if you are craving a lot of time and/or "big" experiences, be reasonable.  Don't selfishly expect your spouse to be late to work, or skip work thinking that "if they really loved me at all" they will.  It's interesting how it's usually the wife who wants a lot of expensive experiences but doesn't want her husband to "work so much".  (read Proverbs 31)

- WORDS OF AFFIRMATION: please tell your family members that you love them!  Every day!  And as Christians, we are to be encouraging!  Don't test your loved one and wait for them to say it - YOU say it!  In that moment, they might need that encouragement and affirmation more than you!  (1 Thessalonians 5:11)

- ACTS OF SERVICE: God equips us with spiritual gifts which we are to use to serve!  God created us with a purpose to serve Him and others! (Philippians 2:1-7)

- RECEIVING GIFTS: never equate someone's love based on how many gifts they give or how much they spend!  And wanting others to give us gifts, is a selfish and insecure expectation!  Even with giving gifts... we are not to be doing anything in order to show off, manipulate or  "buy" friends.  (Luke 6:27-36)

Everything we do should be done in wisdom, with God's love, all to God's glory.  So even in wanting to serve others, offering our help is good (if we actually mean it), and if our help is turned down, graciously accept that.  Don't be insulted.  We might not understand all the reasons.  Not even God forces His help onto us!  And if we turn down someone else's offer to help, don't set them up to look stupid and then gossip to others about it.  If you do want the help, graciously accept it.  If you need someone's help, don't be too proud to ask for someone's help.

The key to any giving and accepting of gifts is to be loving, gracious and thankful with others and most importantly with God.  I love that Jacob immediately built an altar to the Lord as soon as he bought his land!  He had wrestled with the Lord to be blessed, and the Lord came through and helped the reconciliation with his brother to go smoothly.  Ultimately, we have to understand that everything we have is because of God.  And considering everything the Lord has done for us, is doing for us, and will do for us - the Lord definitely deserves our offerings of gifts, tithes, service, thanks, praise and worship!

relationships (Genesis 32:24-32) Wrestle With the Lord

(Genesis 32:24-32)  Then Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him until daybreak. 25 When he saw that he had not prevailed against him, he touched the socket of his thigh; so the socket of Jacob’s thigh was dislocated while he wrestled with him. 26 Then he said, “Let me go, for the dawn is breaking.” But he said, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.” 27 So he said to him, “What is your name?” And he said, “Jacob.” 28 He said, “Your name shall no longer be Jacob, but Israel; for you have striven with God and with men and have prevailed.” 29 Then Jacob asked him and said, “Please tell me your name.” But he said, “Why is it that you ask my name?” And he blessed him there. 30 So Jacob named the place Peniel, for he said, “I have seen God face to face, yet my life has been preserved.” 31 Now the sun rose upon him just as he crossed over Penuel, and he was limping on his thigh. 32 Therefore, to this day the sons of Israel do not eat the sinew of the hip which is on the socket of the thigh, because he touched the socket of Jacob’s thigh in the sinew of the hip.

TODAY'S THOUGHTS AND MEDITATION: 

Jacob's intense prayer with God was a literal struggle with the pre-incarnate Jesus (THE angel of the Lord).  We can wrestle with God, but we should know that even if we "get our way", it still won't be exactly as we thought we wanted.  Just like the apostle Paul's "thorn in his side" which remained, Paul saw it as something to keep him humble and looking to God for strength!  We don't know if Jacob's dislocated hip was temporary or not, but it was a reminder and solid proof to Jacob that what he went through was NOT just a dream!  

When Jacob asked the man what his name was, the Lord basically told Jacob that the answer was in the name He had just given him.  The name "Israel" means "he fights or persists with God"!  Although it was dark, Jacob was able to be face to face with the Lord - and not die.  The only way anyone can see God and live is to be His child.  The only way we can be born again is to believe in the Lord Jesus Christ - God who came in flesh to die for our sins, and rise again to have victory over death.

In salvation, our sins are forgiven, and we are covered by the righteousness of Jesus so that we can have eternal life.  When we pass away from this earth, we will be able to stand before God, face to face.  Until that time, God is still kind of our "captive audience" - since He is omnipresent!  So whenever we go through tough times or have tough questions, we can wrestle with Him in prayer!  I love that He allows us to do that!  His patience and strength is endless, so we can keep going to Him with our concerns and issues until we understand... or until we find peace!

It's not about the need to "win" or "get our way".  Jacob only wanted a blessing, and when God did bless him, we don't even know what the blessing entailed.  I think people tend to equate financial gains and luxury as blessings, but God's blessings are far more meaningful than that.  In Him we can experience His peace, comfort, love, joy, understanding, contentment, satisfaction, encouragement, wisdom, strength, confidence, purpose... So as we wrestle with the Lord, prefer that God wins and He will help us do things His way!  And in that, He will bless us!

relationships (Genesis 32:1-23) Admit, Confess and Apologize

(Genesis 32:1-23)  Now as Jacob went on his way, the angels of God met him. 2 Jacob said when he saw them, “This is God’s camp.” So he named that place Mahanaim.

3 Then Jacob sent messengers before him to his brother Esau in the land of Seir, the country of Edom. 4 He also commanded them saying, “Thus you shall say to my lord Esau: ‘Thus says your servant Jacob, “I have sojourned with Laban, and stayed until now; 5 I have oxen and donkeys and flocks and male and female servants; and I have sent to tell my lord, that I may find favor in your sight.”’”

6 The messengers returned to Jacob, saying, “We came to your brother Esau, and furthermore he is coming to meet you, and four hundred men are with him.” 7 Then Jacob was greatly afraid and distressed; and he divided the people who were with him, and the flocks and the herds and the camels, into two companies; 8 for he said, “If Esau comes to the one company and attacks it, then the company which is left will escape.”

9 Jacob said, “O God of my father Abraham and God of my father Isaac, O Lord, who said to me, ‘Return to your country and to your relatives, and I will prosper you,’ 10 I am unworthy of all the lovingkindness and of all the faithfulness which You have shown to Your servant; for with my staff only I crossed this Jordan, and now I have become two companies. 11 Deliver me, I pray, from the hand of my brother, from the hand of Esau; for I fear him, that he will come and attack me and the mothers with the children. 12 For You said, ‘I will surely prosper you and make your descendants as the sand of the sea, which is too great to be numbered.’”

13 So he spent the night there. Then he selected from what he had with him a present for his brother Esau: 14 two hundred female goats and twenty male goats, two hundred ewes and twenty rams, 15 thirty milking camels and their colts, forty cows and ten bulls, twenty female donkeys and ten male donkeys. 16 He delivered them into the hand of his servants, every drove by itself, and said to his servants, “Pass on before me, and put a space between droves.” 17 He commanded the one in front, saying, “When my brother Esau meets you and asks you, saying, ‘To whom do you belong, and where are you going, and to whom do these animals in front of you belong?’ 18 then you shall say, ‘These belong to your servant Jacob; it is a present sent to my lord Esau. And behold, he also is behind us.’” 19 Then he commanded also the second and the third, and all those who followed the droves, saying, “After this manner you shall speak to Esau when you find him; 20 and you shall say, ‘Behold, your servant Jacob also is behind us.’” For he said, “I will appease him with the present that goes before me. Then afterward I will see his face; perhaps he will accept me.” 21 So the present passed on before him, while he himself spent that night in the camp.

22 Now he arose that same night and took his two wives and his two maids and his eleven children, and crossed the ford of the Jabbok. 23 He took them and sent them across the stream. And he sent across whatever he had.

TODAY'S THOUGHTS AND MEDITATION:  

Notice that God gives us examples who are not perfect.  While Jacob was afraid of Esau, he confessed this fear to the Lord and asked for His help.  Especially when we have done something wrong, we need to try to make things right with anyone who was effected, as best as possible.  Now, it seems like Jacob's gifts were over-the-top-extravagant in order to buy Esau's favor, but remember, Jacob stole both his birthright and blessings!  If Jacob had only said, "Sorry for stealing from you, brother" and didn't give back, or had just given him a small token, the apology would have rung hollow.  Like a slap in the face.

In approaching anyone to apologize, we will struggle not just with pride, but with the fear of rejection or retaliation.  No matter how the other person is going to react, it is so very worth it to confess and apologize to the ones who have been hurt, as soon as possible.  Your heart will experience peace, and who knows, there's a much better chance to be reconciled than if you do nothing.  But at the very least, you have been obedient to what God asks of us.

So when we are struggling, it is more than okay to tell God about it!  He already knows that we are struggling, but for our own sake, it helps us to admit and tell Him about it.  So with every struggle, confess, and ask for His help.  And while Jacob seemed to remind God of His promises, this was also more for Jacob's sake.  God never forgets!  But we can always use the reminders in order to be encouraged!

It is not about do's and don'ts, it is about having a personal relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ.  In striving to get to know Him better, and in allowing Him to work in and through us, we will grow in our faith.  As we trust in Him and see how He does work in our lives, we will only learn to trust Him even more!  Then as we know and see that God is faithful and keeps His promises, we will be confident in Him. 

Whatever God commands us to do, He will be with us!  When we fear God, we do not have to fear anyone or anything!  And after we ask God for help in a specific thing, we can rest in Him and trust that He will work things out for good.  But it is not a one-time-kind-of-thing where we ask God to just take care of our entire life, and then we never have to talk to Him or ask Him anything ever again.  Remember it is a relationship.  And just like with any close relationship, one loves to stay in touch!