relationships (Matthew 6:5-7) Meaningful Conversations

(Matthew 6:5-7)

5 “And when you pray, you are not to be like the hypocrites; for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and on the street corners so that they will be seen by people. Truly I say to you, they have their reward in full. 6 But as for you, when you pray, go into your inner room, close your door, and pray to your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you.

7 “And when you are praying, do not use thoughtless repetition as the Gentiles do, for they think that they will be heard because of their many words. 8 So do not be like them; for your Father knows what you need before you ask Him.

TODAY'S TAKEAWAY

Many people practice "religion", going through the motions of do's and don'ts.  Some of it is simply performative, in order to get the attention, appreciation and adoration from those around them.  This comes from a selfish, manipulative heart, and these are the types of people who will start cults, in order to have followers to do their bidding.  

Other people will go through the motions religiously and/or superstitiously, because they really believe that somehow they will appease, gain something, and/or earn favor with the universe, or some form of god or gods.  Even in yoga, for example, some instructors might direct people to meditate, empty their minds, and/or repeat some mantra (which will be a name of a god).  By all means, do (yoga) stretches.  Just don't get caught up in the religion of it.  

In Christianity, according to God's word (the Bible), our salvation and relationship with the Lord God is very personal!  And the Lord, who is all-loving and caring, fair and just, AND sovereign (all-knowing, all-power and everywhere present) should be our main focus in life.  Afterall, He is our everything!  He saved us, and He alone completes us, and He alone equips, satisfies and fulfills us!  But also, just like with any relationship, especially a relationship that means something, there will always be continuous and constant two-way communications.

The whole purpose of creating us, was to have a close, personal relationship!  God is real.  And His intentions are real.  God has already written us a "love letter" to us, which is inerrant, relevant, applicable and totally life changing!  So, would we not want to be reading and studying that every day?  And as believers, He has given us His indwelling Holy Spirit to convict, guide and help us!  So, would we not want to be listening to His infallible wisdom and insights, and trust in and rely on His help?  AND, not only that, God WANTS to hear from us!

The sovereign Lord loves us so much, He came in flesh to take on the punishment that we deserve, just to provide the way to Him, to be part of His family, His home in heaven, and His kingdom-building-plan and purpose here on earth!  He wants to do life with us.  He wants to bless us.  And most certainly, He wants to hear from us!!!  

The Lord God asks that we pray without ceasing!  The point of the verses above is that we are to pray directly to God!  Corporately and privately.  And when in private, somewhere without distractions, we can pour out our hearts, tell the Lord all about what we are struggling through, and ask whatever questions we might have.  Because we have insights and directions and purpose, our conversations with God will be meaningful.

As we go through our days (and nights), we should remember that God is literally right there with us!  We think having a cell phone with searching abilities is handy.  Ah, we have the Creator of the universe!  No speed-dialing is necessary!  And there will never be a busy signal, or an answering machine, or a robot on the other end!  Just like a loving parent, imagine our heavenly Father walking alongside us and asking, "So, tell me about your day..." or, "Look at those funny antics of that squirrel over there..."  or, "It's going to work out, I'm right here with you;  just keep holding My hand and let's keep talking and enjoying each other's company..."

relationships (Matthew 6:1-4) Assessing Our Motives

(Matthew 6:1-4)

1 “Take care not to practice your righteousness in the sight of people, to be noticed by them; otherwise you have no reward with your Father who is in heaven.

2 “So when you give to the poor, do not sound a trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, so that they will be praised by people. Truly I say to you, they have their reward in full. 3 But when you give to the poor, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, 4 so that your charitable giving will be in secret; and your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you.

TODAY'S TAKEAWAY

As believers (children of God), we will never lose our salvation.  And our heavenly Father will reward us for good deeds done with right motives, which are:

- with humble and sincere hearts

- in the Lord God's will

- in His guidance

- in His strength

- with His help

- in His righteousness

- in His graciousness

- in His agape (unconditional, sacrificial) love

- all to His glory

Another way to assess ourselves is to consider our relationships.  Are we more concerned about what others will think, or are we more concerned with the Lord and what He thinks and wants from us and for us?  

If we are seeking rewards, compliments, "likes", recognition and praise from others, our motives for our actions and words will be arrogant, prideful, selfish, self-seeking and self-serving.  And even if and when we do something "good", people can typically see right through the shallowness.  And then, whatever it is we are doing, is no different than what the world is doing.  As well, the people we are trying so hard to please, rarely care all that much about us, and can and will turn on us for whatever reason, as soon as we stop pleasing or benefiting them.

The deepest most caring relationship we can ever have is with the Lord, who will never forsake us, even when we say and do something that does not please Him.  Once a child of God, always a child of God!  And as a loving, heavenly Father, He is always there for us, not to enable us in bad behavior, because He will discipline us with the desire of getting us back on the right path.  

The amazing thing, is that the Lord God not only cares what we do for His kingdom, He cares about us and wants us to find and experience His true comfort, joy, peace, strength and purpose in His kingdom.  As we ask and allow the Lord to fill us with His love and goodness, not only will we experience more of God, but our good deeds will be an outpouring of God, which will impact others more deeply.

relationships (Matthew 5:43-48) A Love That Changes Hearts

(Matthew 5:43-48)

43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ 44 But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 so that you may prove yourselves to be sons of your Father who is in heaven; for He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. 46 For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Even the tax collectors, do they not do the same? 47 And if you greet only your brothers and sisters, what more are you doing than others? Even the Gentiles, do they not do the same? 48 Therefore you shall be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

TODAY'S TAKEAWAY

To be holy, is to be set apart, and to be perfect... emphasis on the "BE".  To be perfect and godly, as our heavenly Father, means we have to be born again, in order to be legitimate children of God.  Well, when we are not deceiving ourselves, and when we honestly examine our hearts, we will realize that we are not perfect.  Not even close.  

Only the Lord Jesus can forgive and save us, and then He changes us from the inside out, and covers us with HIS righteousness.  It is His blood that He shed on the cross that washes us clean.  It is His Holy Spirit of promise that seals us and makes us complete.  With God's Holy Spirit within us, it is He who sets us apart.  Obviously, this is something we cannot do for ourselves.

Now for the application of these verses.  We, in our own efforts and thinking, are not to try to prove that we are Christians by what we say and do.  We should desire to be obedient because we love God first!  We should realize that God who is love, desires that we love everyone, including our enemies.  And we need to rely on God to help us be obedient in truly loving everyone, including our enemies.  Then, our obedience, when we invite and allow God to work in us and through us, is the outpouring proof of our faith and relationship with God!

This is where prayer is critical.  Having constant heart-to-heart talks with the Lord, not just to know His will and purpose, and not just to understand what we should do and say, but our requests to trust in and rely upon the Lord to do these things for us, in us, and with us.  

Here is a practical personal example of mine.  I had been struggling to love and forgive someone, who, while growing up, really made my life miserable.  And in my own efforts, I kept trying to forgive.  Until I finally spoke with the Lord, very frankly... "I know You want me to forgive this person, but I don't want to.  I don't think they deserve it.  BUT, You tell me to, so - YOU - forgive that person FOR me!"  BAM!  

I'm not exaggerating.  Not only did I feel a literal and spiritual weight lift up off of my chest and shoulders, I instantaneously loved and empathized for that person.  I was truly in wonder and amazement.  Never did I expect that outcome!  And crazy as it sounds, I have quite a close relationship with that person, and I continue to pray for that person to grow in their faith.  They can still be their own worst enemy, but I have seen progress!  And I truly love and care for them deeply!

It is only in a personal love relationship with the Lord, that we can understand, embrace and reflect His agape (unconditional, sacrificial) love - to love those who are unlovable.  And when we allow God's love to pour out, lives will be changed, including ours!!!  The moment we accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior, He changes our hearts.  And as we get to know Him more, and as we rely on Him more, He is faithful and continues to work in our hearts!  And those around us will notice!

relationships (Matthew 5:42) At the Heart of Being Generous

(Matthew 5:42)

Give to him who asks of you, and do not turn away from him who wants to borrow from you.

TODAY'S TAKEAWAY

This tiny verse seems impossibly big!  So big, I initially felt extremely overwhelmed, and even guilty of how selfish I can be.  But, this isn't what Jesus is going for, because He doesn't work that way.  His righteousness, purpose and methods are always imbedded in His great love for us!

At first, my thoughts were swimming with all the images of how many homeless people I have seen, sometimes just in one day!  And if I had given even just a few coins to each of them... well, I'd need a huge purse just for that, and quite possibly I'd be setting myself up to be mugged...  And to what end?  And just how much is enough?  Somewhere in between is the answer?  Am I to beat myself up over this?  Meanwhile, the Bible is reasonable, practical and applicable, and tells us that we are to work unto the Lord, invest wisely, not be a financial burden on others, and...

(1 Timothy 5:8)  ...if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

So, here is the comforting, encouraging part!  As humans, we tend to think in very human terms.  And this is one of the big points that Jesus is making in His sermon on the mount.  Jesus is giving the people some idea of how high God's standards are compared to ours.  And God's standards are impossible for us to obtain on our own, because God is holy and perfectly righteous.  

Having a sinful nature, we require Jesus' salvation, which comes with His forgiveness, mercy and grace, His indwelling Holy Spirit, His help and guidance, and His righteousness.  While I have already been saved, obviously I still struggle with thinking in human terms!  Therefore, practically speaking, my initial reaction was a little like the rich man who went to Jesus with a question.  

The rich young man's problem wasn't that he was a criminal, since he was very "religious" and "nice", and practiced all the do's and don'ts.  And he was quite pleased with himself on that account, but was he really wondering what else was missing in order to be complete, or was this a veiled attempt to show off how "good" he was, with a fishing expedition for some compliments from Jesus???  

(Matthew 19:16:22) And someone came to Him and said, “Teacher, what good thing shall I do so that I may obtain eternal life?” 17 And He said to him, “Why are you asking Me about what is good? There is only One who is good; but if you want to enter life, keep the commandments.” 18 Then he said to Him, “Which ones?” And Jesus said, “You shall not commit murder; You shall not commit adultery; You shall not steal; You shall not give false testimony; 19 Honor your father and mother; and You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” 20 The young man said to Him, “All these I have kept; what am I still lacking?” 21 Jesus said to him, “If you want to be complete, go and sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me.” 22 But when the young man heard this statement, he went away grieving; for he was one who owned much property.

Jesus' answer sounds humanly material, but it is spiritual.  Jesus wants all of us, where we make a decision and ask Him to be Savior, Lord and King of our life, where He comes first, above all else.  Obviously, the main struggle this rich man had was that his love relationship with money was greater than the desire to have a personal love relationship with the Lord.  And we know that this is wrong...

(1 Timothy 6:10)  For the love of money is a root of all sorts of evil, and some by longing for it have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.

In other words, the rich young man wanted to go to heaven, but on his own terms, and by his own works.  The answer that Jesus gave the man was in human terms.  Oh, so you want to try working your way to heaven... here's something!!!  Which is crazy-impossible!  

All of this to say - the real solution is "simple", reasonable and very possible!  We ARE to be generous and gracious in our giving, but this is to be done according to the Holy Spirit's wisdom, help and guidance.  EVERYTHING should be done in God's will and His love, according to the Holy Spirit's wisdom, help and guidance.  Within a personal relationship, God does it FOR us, in us, and through us...

(Galatians 5:16:24)  But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh. 17 For the desire of the flesh is against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; for these are in opposition to one another, in order to keep you from doing whatever you want. 18 But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the Law. 19 Now the deeds of the flesh are evident, which are: sexual immorality, impurity, indecent behavior, 20 idolatry, witchcraft, hostilities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions, 21 envy, drunkenness, carousing, and things like these, of which I forewarn you, just as I have forewarned you, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. 22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. 24 Now those who belong to Christ Jesus crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.

relationships (Matthew 5:41) Selfishness Cannot Love

(Matthew 5:41)

Whoever forces you to go one mile, go with him two. 

TODAY'S TAKEAWAY

This tiny verse has many layers to it.  I'm trying to put this exact hyperbole into a situation that might happen today in our country.  Well, not sure how often this actually happens, but like in movies and TV shows, when the police are chasing after criminals, they will sometimes commandeer a citizen's vehicle.  Although, this will rarely occur, and the situation that Jesus lays out, is taking it one step further.  

These next verses will put things into more perspective.  And keep in mind that it is "for the Lord's sake".  In other words, because we represent the Lord, we should be obedient to laws and customs... as long as they do not go against God's will...

(1 Peter 2:13-17)  Submit yourselves for the Lord’s sake to every human institution, whether to a king as the one in authority, 14 or to governors as sent by him for the punishment of evildoers and the praise of those who do right. 15 For such is the will of God, that by doing right you silence the ignorance of foolish people. 16 Act as free people, and do not use your freedom as a covering for evil, but use it as bond-servants of God. 17 Honor all people, love the brotherhood, fear God, honor the king.

(Romans 13:1-7)  Every person is to be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those which exist are established by God. 2 Therefore whoever resists authority has opposed the ordinance of God; and they who have opposed will receive condemnation upon themselves. 3 For rulers are not a cause of fear for good behavior, but for evil. Do you want to have no fear of authority? Do what is good and you will have praise from the same; 4 for it is a servant of God to you for good. But if you do what is evil, be afraid; for it does not bear the sword for nothing; for it is a servant of God, an avenger who brings wrath on the one who practices evil. 5 Therefore it is necessary to be in subjection, not only because of wrath, but also for the sake of conscience. 6 For because of this you also pay taxes, for rulers are servants of God, devoting themselves to this very thing. 7 Pay to all what is due them: tax to whom tax is due; custom to whom custom; respect to whom respect; honor to whom honor.

At that time, Rome was busy taking over the world as they invaded countries to build and spread their empire.  And so, they had a strong presence in Israel, and 

Roman soldiers had the legal right to commandeer work animals and resources, as well as force citizens to do work for them.  An example where this happened is in Mark 15:21, when Jesus was struggling to carry His cross on the way to be crucified, and the soldiers pulled out a man from the crowd to carry Jesus' cross.  

Just so, if a Roman soldier was going somewhere and carrying a heavy load, he had full rights to make someone else carry his things.  I'm not sure just how often this happened (just like officers commandeering a vehicle);  but, if and when it did, being willing to go an extra mile would have impressed upon these Romans.  To be, not just an example of nonresistance, but to show loving service to the oppressor would have at least raised some eyebrows. Just like when Paul was imprisoned, he used this as an opportunity to joyfully share the gospel message with guardsmen, and lives were changed.

Now for another poignant and applicable verse to consider...

(Luke 9:23)  And He was saying to them all, “If anyone wants to come after Me, he must deny himself, take up his cross daily, and follow Me.

Again!  Love rather than selfishness!  wow-wow-wow!!!  I'm getting a fuller picture of how much selfishness impedes the efforts of showing godly agape love to others!  As another verse says, it is not just to love those who are easy to love, but to love all people, as God loves them!!!  This is definitely not of ourselves.  We must first have God's love in our hearts, and then ask and allow God to love others through us, in His strength, help and guidance!!!  We just have to have willing hearts.  Then, in our personal relationship with the Lord, as He works for us, in us and through us, His love will be shared and lives will change!!!

relationships (Matthew 5:40) Satisfaction vs Selfishness

(Matthew 5:40-48)

And if anyone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak also. 

TODAY'S TAKEAWAY

In this hyperbole scenario, "under Jewish law, a legal case to regain one’s cloak would have been foolproof.  A creditor could not take a poor person’s outer cloak, which might serve as one’s only blanket at night as well as a coat (Ex 22:26-27)." By settling outside of court, one can avoid legal disputes which affect only oneself, and it is a practical way to try to keep a situation as peaceful as possible. 

Although, the main point of what Jesus is saying is that, as believers, we are to value relationships supremely and be motivated by godly (agape) love, which is unconditional and sacrificial.  In this unselfishness, we are to regard possessions as nothing.  People and their salvation are far more important than having things!

In our relationship with the Lord, Who loves people so much that He came in flesh to die in our place to pay the price for sin... He will help us love others in the same unconditional and sacrificial way.  This love is not of ourselves, it is God's love!  And as we see the eternal benefits of having a relationship with God, we should also desire that all come to know Him in the same way!  

This is ultimately our main purpose in life!  And for us to follow through and be obedient to this calling, requires us to humbly confess and turn away from greed, and self-centered desires, preferences and selfishness.  What helps is when we realize the true value of having God in our lives, and in embracing Him and His will, we are made complete.  Only in the Lord will we experience His true peace, joy, fulfillment, contentment and satisfaction!

relationships (Matthew 5:38-39) Avoiding and Facing Confrontations

(Matthew 5:38-39)

38 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’ 39 But I say to you, do not show opposition against an evil person; but whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other toward him also. 

TODAY'S TAKEAWAY

IMPORTANT TO KNOW:  these verses should never be taken out of context to imply that if we are Christians, we should just put up with domestic abuse and/or purposefully insert ourselves into scenarios with physical violence.  So, back to these verses... culturally, apart from physical harm, the blow on the right cheek was considered the most grievous insult in the ancient world.  This offense could even be brought to court In both the Jewish and Roman law.  An example of this happened to the prophet Micaiah...  

(1 Kings 22:24)  Then Zedekiah the son of Chenaanah approached and struck Micaiah on the cheek; and he said, “How did the Spirit of the Lord pass from me to speak to you?”  (Other examples are found in Job 16:10 and Lamentations 3:30.)

Now, how are we to apply these two verses from Jesus' sermon on the mount, as Jesus was giving all these bullet points of insight for the people to mull over?  Well, God is very clear, and His word says it best...

(Romans 12:17-21) Never repay evil for evil to anyone. Respect what is right in the sight of all people. 18 If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all people. 19 Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written: “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord. 20 “But if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him a drink; for in so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” 21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

IMPORTANT TO KNOW:  believers are called to value relationships over ourselves, even with evil people. This is NOT to say that we are to become BFFs with our enemies.  Looking back at Matthew 5:39 very closely, it doesn't even say we are to approve or show agreement with them, because we know God tells us to stand for justice from such verses as...

(Proverbs 31:8-9)
8   Open your mouth for the people who cannot speak,
     For the rights of all the unfortunate.
9   Open your mouth, judge righteously,
     And defend the rights of the poor and needy.

God tells us to correct oppression and humbly bring true justice to orphans and widows, defending and upholding the cause for the weak, poor, and the oppressed (Psalm 82:3, Proverbs 29:7, Isaiah 1:17, Micah 6:8, Zechariah 7:8, James 1:27). 

IMPORTANT TO KNOW:  we are never told to seek out abuse or violence...

(Proverbs 4:14-15)

14  Do not enter the path of the wicked 
      And do not proceed in the way of evil people.
15  Avoid it, do not pass by it;
      Turn away from it and pass on.

(1 Timothy 6:11)   ...flee from these things, you man of God, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, perseverance, and gentleness.

(Psalm 37:27) Turn from evil and do good, so that you will dwell forever.

(Romans 12:21)  Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

(Ephesians 6:11)  Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil.

(James 4:7)  Submit therefore to God. But resist the devil, and he will flee from you.

IMPORTANT TO KNOW:  submitting ourselves to the Lord God is everything!  Within our loving, personal relationship, we realize that God cares for us so deeply, and desires our lives to be complete, fulfilled and satisfied in His will and purpose, to experience His joy, to His glory.  Because He wants to do life WITH us!  Therefore, He asks us to...

(1 Thessalonians 5:17)  "Pray without ceasing."

(Philippians 4:4-7)  Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice! 5 Let your gentle spirit be known to all people. The Lord is near. 6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and pleading with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

relationships (Matthew 5:33-37) Love and Respect

(Matthew 5:33-37)

33 “Again, you have heard that the ancients were told, ‘You shall not make false vows, but shall fulfill your vows to the Lord.’ 34 But I say to you, take no oath at all, neither by heaven, for it is the throne of God, 35 nor by the earth, for it is the footstool of His feet, nor by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the great King. 36 Nor shall you take an oath by your head, for you cannot make a single hair white or black. 37 But make sure your statement is, ‘Yes, yes’ or ‘No, no’; anything beyond these is of evil origin.

TODAY'S TAKEAWAY

The one important vow that we make in life would be marriage vows, which we should never make lightly.  While unfortunately divorce happens, it is not God's will.  Therefore, with God's help, we should continuously work on our marriage, but most importantly each should continuously work on their relationship with the Lord!

Other vows that people might make are when they testify in court, or when someone takes a position in government or in law enforcement, or when someone becomes a citizen of another country.  These are all important promises to keep - especially if you have used God's name!!!  If you do not carry out your promises as stated, you have used God's name in vain!!! 

While all of these are important vows to keep, the essence of these verses are really about our honesty and true intentions.  Jesus is telling us that we should not have to be swearing on this or that, or using His name in vain, in order to convince someone that NOW we are telling the truth.  Jesus is telling us to always tell the truth.  Be honest and trustworthy.

As a believer, first of all, if we truly love the Lord, flippantly throwing around any version of His name is disrespectful!  And as we are children of God, representing our heavenly Father, our desire should be to reflect Him and all of His traits, which are holy and good.  This will not just demonstrate our love and respect for the Lord, but also our love and respect for one another.

relationships (Matthew 5:27-31) Staying Pure Whether Single or Married

(Matthew 5:27-31)

27 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery’; 28 but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29 Now if your right eye is causing you to sin, tear it out and throw it away from you; for it is better for you to lose one of the parts of your body, than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30 And if your right hand is causing you to sin, cut it off and throw it away from you; for it is better for you to lose one of the parts of your body, than for your whole body to go into hell.

31 “Now it was said, ‘Whoever sends his wife away is to give her a certificate of divorce’; 32 but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the reason of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

TODAY'S TAKEAWAY

God created mankind so that He would have someone to love, and desires that all will choose to love Him back in a personal relationship.  Creating mankind with the intention of having intimate relationships, He also created man and woman with marriage in mind.  Only intended for marriage, sex is a miracle of creation where there is literally a physical marriage - where the two become one flesh.  

We hear how people always remember "their first one".  Yes - that's because you married that person!  The most important sexual organ that we have is our minds.  Whatever we have done, seen or heard, is what we will take with us into our marriage, and into our marriage bed.  So the purer we keep ourselves, the better sex will be within the marriage.  There is more trust, confidence, encouragement and security when we can both say we were faithful to each other our entire lives, even before we met each other.

The verses above support the importance of maintaining purity, even in and especially in our hearts and minds.  Any sort of lusting will cause one to feel unfulfilled and make it more difficult not to stray.  This is emotional adultery, and a spouse will sense the other pulling away.  Notice that these verses don't put the onus on the spouse for maybe not being sexual enough.  And these verses don't put the onus on the "other" person, who may or may not be vying for attention or selfishly trying to be a marriage-wreaker.  Lust can happen in many different forms.  Therefore, any type of pornography is deceptive and destructive, even for one who is single.  This would include "graphic" romance novels and movies.  So. ladies, we are not exempt.  We are all responsible for what we put into our minds and hearts.

In this light, flirting should remain within a marriage, and carried out in privacy;  and even then, flirting should have good intentions which lead to something between the husband and wife.  It would be cruel to flirt, but then turn them down.  A healthy, enjoyable marriage, does include healthy, enjoyable sex.  The Bible even tells us clearly that spouses are not to deprive one another (1 Corinthians 7).  While the onus is on each individual to remain faithful, why would we want to make it "easier" for our spouse to drift away???!!!

Outside of the marriage, there is no such thing as harmless flirting, because we have no idea how the other person will take this!!!  Your intentions might be to have "just a little careless fun", but this can lead to a lot of other acts of carelessness.  And if you are dating or married, and you are flirting with someone else, this is a whole other level of cruelty!  Here's another way to think about it, all of your sexual energy, vibes, flirting, etc... should be reserved for your spouse!!!  In this way, when both have done that, both GET 100%!!!  And nothing from your reserves have been carelessly, unfaithfully thrown away to someone else.

Marriage is difficult enough when we do all the right things.  And that includes marrying another believer!  One should never marry an unbeliever thinking that you will be able to save them, or that God will answer your prayers that they become a believer.  God gives everyone a free will, and will never force anyone to love Him back.  And even once someone becomes a believer, He will never force anyone to live in obedience to His will.  

Therefore, we can see the importance of a believer patiently and prayerfully marrying another believer.  And then, having the most important in common, we can work together as a very tightly woven team, which not just includes God, but relies on God, putting Him first, ahead of our spouse, and everything else.  As both husband and wife grow closer to the Lord, they will grow closer to each other.  And as both husband and wife read God's word, pray to the Lord Jesus for help and wisdom, and listen to the Holy Spirit's guidance with willing and obedient hearts, God will lead the marriage in a wonderfully unified direction, because He also created us with the purpose of serving and glorifying Him.

(1 Corinthians 10:31)  Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all things for the glory of God.

relationships (Matthew 5:21-26) Reconciling Quickly

(Matthew 5:21-48)

21 “You have heard that the ancients were told, ‘You shall not murder,’ and ‘Whoever commits murder shall be answerable to the court.’ 22 But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother shall be answerable to the court; and whoever says to his brother, ‘You good-for-nothing,’ shall be answerable to the supreme court; and whoever says, ‘You fool,’ shall be guilty enough to go into the fiery hell. 23 Therefore, if you are presenting your offering at the altar, and there you remember that your brother has something against you, 24 leave your offering there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering. 25 Come to good terms with your accuser quickly, while you are with him on the way to court, so that your accuser will not hand you over to the judge, and the judge to the officer, and you will not be thrown into prison. 26 Truly I say to you, you will not come out of there until you have paid up the last quadrans.

TODAY'S TAKEAWAY

People think that they just have to be "good enough" (whatever that means).  People will try to argue how good they are, and that they will be going to heaven because they deserve it.  Afterall, it's not like they've killed anyone.  Well, here, Jesus is saying that even if we have been angry with someone, or called someone a name... we DESERVE to be punished.  We will go to hell.

Now, here's something very important to know.  God doesn't want to punish anyone. God desires all come to know Him personally and have a relationship with Him.  God would love nothing more than for all people to humbly go before Him to be reborn... so He can adopt everyone and make them His children.  BUT God is holy and cannot have a relationship with sin.  PROBLEM: we all have sinned and fall short of God's glory.  SOLUTION: the Lord came in flesh to pay the price for all sin on the cross and have victory over sin and death, so that anyone who believes will have everlasting life.

God's standards are high!  To please Him and get to heaven, we must be perfectly holy and righteous.  And for us to come even close to God's standards in our efforts is impossible.  The only way we can please the Lord is to become a believer, and to accept the love and salvation of Jesus into our hearts, which changes us internally.  Our relationship of love with the Lord will become evident by how we treat others, especially how we treat other believers, as well as our enemies.

Now, this is easier said than done.  While our sins have been forgiven, we are still in our sinful flesh, therefore we will still struggle, and we will run into disagreements with loved ones, family members, Christian brothers and sisters, friends, co-works, peers and neighbors...  While the world's way of managing these issues will be to ignore, avoid, manipulate, bully, or retaliate with gossip, lies and violence... here is the way to live out God's love and Law in these situations... 

• As soon as someone hurts us, we are to forgive (whether they apologize or not), or we will become angry, bitter and vengeful, and that will only make things worse.  Therefore, to facilitate peace, we must forgive and let God manage the rest.  And from experience, I can tell you that this works!  

• If the relationship is such, we can go to them and let them know that what they did to hurt us, and/or what is hurtful to others, as well as themselves.  It should be our prayer and hope that they will accept the feedback in order to change their behavior, and see the need to become a believer if they are not already.

• As well, as soon as we realize that we have hurt someone else, we are to go to them and apologize (whether they forgive us or not).  Just in this action alone, we will experience God's peace in our lives, since we have done what God asks of us.  And with the prayer and hope that the other person will be open to reconciling, we will find that these relationships can become even stronger than before.  And if that person isn't a believe already, this can very often be what encourages them to seek out a relationship with the Lord.  

• And of course, for ourselves, when we make these mistakes, which are sin, when we confess these to the Lord, He is faithful and forgives.  And, it is more than just "forgiveness".  From my personal experience, I have learned that when I'm obedient to confessing my sins as I realize them, in that moment, the Lord changes me internally, and I mature, even delivering me from things that I assumed were chronic (like PTSD).

God doesn't want us to be punished, or to struggle along in life, or be surrounded by relationships of tension, drama, worry, fear or hate.  He wants us to have a life with purpose, courage, joy and love.  He wants to do life WITH us, and guide us along, so we may experience His goodness to the fullest.  It all starts with first reconciling with God (through Jesus' salvation) and maintaining a healthy relationship with Him!

relationships (Matthew 5:17-20) Working On the Heart

(Matthew 5:17-20)

17 “Do not presume that I came to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I did not come to abolish, but to fulfill. 18 For truly I say to you, until heaven and earth pass away, not the smallest letter or stroke of a letter shall pass from the Law, until all is accomplished! 19 Therefore, whoever nullifies one of the least of these commandments, and teaches others to do the same, shall be called least in the kingdom of heaven; but whoever keeps and teaches them, he shall be called great in the kingdom of heaven.

20 “For I say to you that unless your righteousness far surpasses that of the scribes and Pharisees, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven.

TODAY'S TAKEAWAY

The Pharisees were very religious, because for them it was all about the external appearances.  Being also arrogantly power-hungry, and with the desire to control the optics and control others, people become self-righteous.  Even people today, when one combines the empty acts of religion with their self-righteous preferences, in their worldview, not even Jesus is as spiritual as they themselves.  

One cannot be more deceived in their thinking than this!  And God is going to have something to say to anyone who changes, adds or diminishes God's word in anyway, because this leads people astray and keeps people from going to God!  Now, if one of these is a true believer yet still does this, they will get into heaven, but there are no rewards for this!

When someone humbly repents and becomes a believer, they immediately are forgiven of all sins (past, present and future), receive the indwelling Holy Spirit, and are covered by Jesus' righteousness, which changes us from the inside out.  This is how the Lord Jesus fulfills the Law!!!  It is in our hearts!  And as we ask and allow, the Holy Spirit will continue working for us, in us, and through us, in order to carry out our God-given purpose, to His glory.  THIS is what the Lord will reward!

Yet, it's not about scorekeeping, or maintaining a checklist, or about dos and don'ts.  It is all about having a personal relationship with the Lord, which is all about His love, for us and all people.  In this, there will be an outpouring of our love for Him, with a desire to keep and accurately teach God's Laws, with a desire to carry out our purpose with God's calling, directions and help, all with His love, all to His glory!  It is Christ at work in us, to fulfill His Law!

relationships (Matthew 5:14-16) Share the Light

(Matthew 5:14-16)

14 “You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden; 15 nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on the lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. 16 Your light must shine before people in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven.

TODAY'S TAKEAWAY

We've all heard the phrase about specific people being able to "light up a room" as soon as they enter.  As well, celebrities are referred to as "stars".  Well, these verses do not refer to either of those, especially because it is all about those people and their personal abilities and popularity.  All the accolades, compliments and glory goes to them, and to them alone.

Obviously, in these verses, "light" is used as an allegory or illustration.  Physical light is a brightness that is emitted from a source of energy, either from a lamp, or fire, or it is a light that is reflecting a source of light.  Just so, as believers, we are to reflect God's light that is within us.  Also, just as light overtakes the darkness, salvation and life in Christ has victory over sin, death and darkness.

The only source of spiritual light is the Lord God - who is light!  God's light is pure and brilliant and overcomes the darkness!  His light gently exposes sin, enlightens hearts and minds with truth and its knowledge, which - when accepted into one's heart, soul and life - embeds God's spiritual purity.

Because it is all about having a personal relationship with the Lord, we should desire to follow Him closely because of His love, and because we have chosen to love Him back.  In that moment of being born again, we receive His indwelling Holy Spirit, so that for all eternity He is right there with us to continue lighting our way.  

Since we have God's light within us, we should not be hiding this relationship, or be afraid to share.  Just like having the coolest, nicest friend, whom we love to introduce to others, we should be more than eager to introduce the Lord to all those around us as we have the opportunity.  And as we live in such a way that shines out God's love, there will be people who will notice and ask about it.  And since God is omnipresent, it's not like we can keep Him all to ourselves!  He is everywhere!  Therefore, as we help to illuminate God's truths, people's spiritual eyes can be opened to see and meet Him.

No need to worry.  God will give us the courage, strength and guidance in how we can be effective in shining His light out to the world.  He will continue to enlighten us with His moral and spiritual truth and guidance.  He will light the way for us.  Although, it is still up to us to be obedient and follow where He leads and directs!  In this obedience, we will be like a light on a lampstand so that others can witness how God is working in our lives, and see God's love, truth and His righteous path.  In this obedience, we will be accomplishing good works that glorify the Lord!

relationships (Matthew 5:13) Being Effective in Adding Value

(Matthew 5:13)

13 “You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt has become tasteless, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot by people.

TODAY'S TAKEAWAY

I'm very curious to learn how this will apply to our relationships, with the Lord and/or with others.  So, looking at the definition for "salt":

• it is used to season food, to add flavor
• therefore it was also used to sprinkle onto people's sacrifices.
• it protects food, because it purifies and preserves food, so it will not change
• therefore it is a symbol of lasting accord.
• therefore it was and is used in Asian customs to partake together
• therefore it signifies wisdom and grace exhibited in speech
• THEREFORE: "salt" in this verse is figurative for prudence.

In the sense of salt becoming tasteless, it then would not serve any purpose.  Putting all of this information into context, this would be another way to describe foolishness.  Culturally, the joke was - IF - real salt could lose its saltiness, how can one restore its salty flavor - except to salt it.  

Scientifically, adding real salt doesn't change fake salt, because it was never real salt to begin with.  Now, real salt can SEEM to lose its flavor only because of impurities, additives and/or moisture.  In other words, the real salt is still there, but the things that have been added to it, has dummied down its effectiveness.  The more additives, the less effective.

Now, how does this apply to us and our relationships?  All of us start life as fake, flavorless, worthless salt, therefore hopeless and without purpose.  But with God, all things are possible.  So, when we repent of our sins, and ask Jesus to forgive us and come into our life, He chooses to no longer remember our sins, and He covers us with His righteousness, which purifies us!  And with His indwelling Holy Spirit, He changes us from the inside out, which seasons us with His loving and holy qualities.  He protects and preserves us for all eternity.  He gives us purpose, and with His guidance we gain His wisdom and grace.  And as we walk with, trust in, and rely on Him, He helps us to be prudent, and helps us love others with His love, which is everlasting, unchanging, unconditional and sacrificial!.

Now, just like real salt cannot lose its flavor, a true believer cannot lose their salvation or their purpose.  But just like real salt can appear to lose its flavor, we too can and will stumble and add impurities to our lives.  The more we sin, the less effective we become to the Lord and His kingdom.  

Therefore, so that we can maintain our flavor and value in God's purpose that He has given us, we are to confess our sins as soon as we realize them.  For us to be flavorful and valuable to others, we must embrace our relationship with the Lord, learn from Him, and be equipped by Him, who is our source of all things good!!!  Our prudence, wisdom and grace will be the evidence of our relationship with God.  Another way to put it is, in order to be more godlike, we must grow closer to God!!!

relationships (Matthew 5:10-11) Good and Bad Reasons

(Matthew 5:10-11)

10 “Blessed are those who have been persecuted for the sake of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

11 “Blessed are you when people insult you and persecute you, and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of Me. 12 Rejoice and be glad, for your reward in heaven is great; for in this same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

TODAY'S TAKEAWAY

There will be an array of reactions to these verses.  I know for myself, there was a time I really didn't appreciate hearing this.  I mean, who wants to be persecuted!?  Yet, in life, for various reasons, many people are picked on, bullied and insulted, and unfairly and unjustly imprisoned, tortured and killed... We live in an unfair, unjust, fallen and broken world that is full of pride, greed, hate and fear!

Another reaction to these verses will be one of unwarranted pride, where a person uses some level of persecution as a badge of honor, in some self-proclaimed proof and justification that what they are doing or saying is truth, right and good.  I will use Mormons as an example, because they do teach their members that if they are persecuted, that only means they are on the right track (even though they are not). 

In general, people are persecuted for various reasons.  One of the reasons is that people do not like to be preached at.  It doesn't even matter what the message is, be it true or false, political opinions, idealisms or propaganda, cult or religious proclamations, or just some personal preferences of someone who is incessantly pressing to get their way.

Reactions will vary.  Some people will react by simply walking away, or changing the channel, although it can lead to groups censoring, "canceling", "silent quitting", black-listing or boycotting.  Some will speak out, or debate, while remaining calm and trying to use reason, until they perhaps become "impassioned" and it turns into a yelling-fest.  Some argue, and even resort to mocking, lying, and name calling.  While others will become enraged and use violence.

This leads to yet another reason why people will be persecuted.  And it's a reason that people wouldn't want to hear, which is to be persecuted because they are jerks and deserve it, even though they think they don't.  And I'll add in here those people who say they are Christians, but are not representing the Lord well;  maybe in just one given situation, or it's their preferred method of being in this world.  One pastor put it another way, "People will hate us just because we are Christians, don't give them more excuses to hate you by being a jerk!"

This brings us to the focus of what these verses are actually talking about.  There will be people who hate us just because we are Christians.  Even if we are just going about our lives, and living out God's will.  I'll use my husband as an example.  When he's at work, he is working unto the Lord!  Focused and intent on doing what is expected, and doing the best that he possibly can.  And at one company, it didn't take long for the coworkers to start referring to him as "Pastor Len", even though he had not said anything about his faith (yet, at that point).  So, how did they know?

There is a saying, attributed to St. Francis of Assisi, "Preach the gospel at all times, and when necessary, use words."  Now, the Bible doesn't exactly say this.  We are told to live in obedience in God's will, and in God's strength, which will be evidence of our faith.  But we are also told to use every opportunity to share the gospel!  Now, it does come down to HOW we are sharing God's word and His message of salvation.  Everything we do and say should always be in God's love, and with His love, wisdom and guidance.  While there will be people drawn to us just to hear about Jesus, there will be those who hate us for it, because they hate Jesus.

Here's the summary and the difference!  Sometimes people are persecuted just because they are suffering the consequences of other people's bad actions.  Sometimes people are persecuted because they are suffering the consequences of their own bad actions.  But when believers are persecuted because of God, God is going to bless and reward those who are faithful in being obedient to His will, practicing His righteousness, and speaking His truth.  Even in the midst of persecution, in staying focused on our relationship with the Lord, we can be confident that He will help us, and work things out for good.

relationships (Matthew 5:9) Peacemaking God's Way

(Matthew 5:9)

“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God.

TODAY'S TAKEAWAY

There are a few points to this message.  The obvious one is that we should not be agitators or instigators, and not be violent, contentious, contrary or critical, although that doesn't mean we are to approve of sin.  But look, even if we claim that we have sincere love and concern, we cannot tell people who are NOT believers, that they HAVE to live and behave as believers.  God doesn't even do this.  Especially because true, biblical Christianity is not about do's and don'ts, but having a loving, personal relationship with the Lord.  What we can do, with God's guidance, is share God's love, truth and salvation message, because He has a much better way for us!

In the same way then, pointing at people or getting in their face to tell them that they ARE going to hell - because... - is something we should not do - BECAUSE - it is something we cannot do!!!  We are not the judge and jury.  We do not know what is in a person's heart and mind.  We need to look at the logs in our own eyes!  Because, even Christians will often choose to drift away from God and live in sin, yet, because of God's grace, they are not going to hell.  So, not only is that tactic very wrong, it is the opposite of peacemaking!  What we can do, with God's wisdom and guidance, is share God's truths, the good news, and how God has worked and is working in our life!

Think about it.  Trying to debate, argue or convince someone into God's kingdom, will not be received well at all.  This again would be trying to take the place of God, since it is only His Holy Spirit who convicts the hearts of people!  And that is not how God wants us to share His gospel message of truth, hope, peace and love.  Now, this verse isn't talking about sharing the gospel with others.  It is merely telling us that we are to be peacemakers.  No matter what God tells us to do, though, everything is to be done in His agape love (which is unconditional and sacrificial).

Because God is love, He created us with free will.  What is free will if we do not have choices?  And what are choices if we do not have freedom to act upon them?  Therefore, God never forces anyone to love Him back.  And once a person decides to love God and put their faith in Him, He doesn't even force His own children to be obedient!  Of course, He desires that all come to know Him in a real and personal way, and of course, He desires that His children love and trust Him enough to accept and apply all of His omniscient advice (obeying His commandments).

The summary of God's commandments is to love Him, and then love others.  And then, when we run into issues with others, or others come to us to help resolve a situation, we need to start by praying (even if it is in our head)... PRAY for God's love and wisdom!  Also, it certainly helps to know God's word well, because He gives so much advice on how to resolve and reconcile.  In fact, everything we would ever need to know, is in the Bible, and it is all relevant, applicable and effective!  Then as we are obedient to God's will, in His love, strength and wisdom, all to His glory, He will do and accomplish amazing things!  This includes having not just inner spiritual peace, but living in a much more peaceful environment.

relationships (Matthew 5:8) Genuinely Pure in Heart

(Matthew 5:8)

“Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.

TODAY'S TAKEAWAY

As my mom frequently said, "words are important", so, I looked up the word "pure" in the Bible dictionary.  Basically, "PURE" means to be clean, or clear.  Also:

• to be innocent
• to be free from sin
• to be sincerely and genuinely blameless
• to be unstained with the guilt of anything
• to be ethically free from corrupt desire
• to NOT impart any uncleanness
• to be guiltfree from every admixture of what is false

The only way anyone can get to heaven is with a pure heart, because God is holy and cannot have a relationship with sin.  The only way we can have a pure heart is though salvation, which is available only through Jesus Christ.  This is to humbly repent of our sins and accept the Lord Jesus into our hearts.  It is in that moment that Jesus forgives all of our sins (past, present, future), which purifies our hearts, as He covers us with His righteousness, and gives us His indwelling Holy Spirit.

Moving forward, once we are believers (born again as children of God), we are told:

(1 John 3:2-3)  Beloved, now we are children of God, and it has not appeared as yet what we will be. We know that when He appears, we will be like Him, because we will see Him just as He is. And everyone who has this hope set on Him purifies himself, just as He is pure.

One of the illustrations that the Bible uses to help us understand the term "to be clean" is like how a vine is cleansed by pruning, so that it is able to bear fruit.  In our daily walk with the Lord, it is beneficial to confess our sins as we realize them, which prunes away the things that will prevent us from being productive and fruitful, as well as enjoying a close relationship with the Lord.  Being intimately connected to the vine (Jesus, Himself), is to be nourished so that we can grow, as well as have Him be our strength, love, hope, comfort, joy, peace...

(John 15:1-4)  “I am the true vine, and My Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit, He takes away; and every branch that bears fruit, He prunes it so that it may bear more fruit. You are already clean because of the word which I have spoken to you. Remain in Me, and I in you. Just as the branch cannot bear fruit of itself but must remain in the vine, so neither can you unless you remain in Me.

Another illustration that the Bible uses to help us understand the term "to be pure" is the act of something being purified by fire.  And the Bible describes God as a consuming fire.  While believers cannot lose our salvation because we have been forgiven of all sin, when we get to heaven, we will be judged and rewarded according to our good works done with pure motives...

(1 Corinthians 3:12-15) Now if anyone builds on the foundation with gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, or straw,  each one’s work will become evident; for the day will show it because it is to be revealed with fire, and the fire itself will test the quality of each one’s work.  If anyone’s work which he has built on it remains, he will receive a reward.  If anyone’s work is burned up, he will suffer loss; but he himself will be saved, yet only so as through fire.

How exciting the thought is that we will see God face to face one day!  And meanwhile, having Him as our heavenly Father who is always with us, to helps us in all things, allows us to experience Him in mighty ways right now!

relationships (Matthew 5:7) Mercy Has Its Reward

(Matthew 5:7)

“Blessed are the merciful, for they will receive mercy.

TODAY'S TAKEAWAY

When we are compassionate, others will tend to show compassion towards us. Even many unbelievers know of the verse,  Treat people the same way you want them to treat you. (Luke 6:31).  And while this definitely helps us to get along with people in general, we will come across those who will not reciprocate. Still, we are to continue to show love, compassion and kindness, no matter what.  I mean, think about the alternative, someone gets in our face, and then we get in their face, and... then what?   By doing that, we will only escalate the situation.

As believers, we are called to go the extra mile, because we are representatives (ambassadors) of Christ.  God loves all people, therefore we are to love all people.  And with Christ in us, in every situation, we should be asking and allowing Him to use us to His glory, to share His love with even the unlovable, to shine His light out into a dark world that is without hope.  So, when we are obedient in God's will, in His love and strength, as our verse above says, we receive mercy... God's mercy!  And so much more!

I've done some cross-referencing here, because God really can lay it all out very clearly for us, without the need for us to explain anything!  Except that we can share experiences and testify where and how these truths worked when we applied them.  Because I know from experience that when I obey God's word, it will always work!  GOD always works!!! 

(Romans 8:28). And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.   

(Ephesians 4:31-32)  All bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and slander must be removed from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, compassionate, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.

(Romans 12:17-21)  Never repay evil for evil to anyone. Respect what is right in the sight of all people. If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all people. Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written: “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord. “But if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him a drink; for in so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.”  Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

(Proverbs 25:21-22)

     If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat;

     And if he is thirsty, give him water to drink;
22 For you will heap burning coals on his head,
     And the Lord will reward you.