relationships (Matthew 5:27-31) Staying Pure Whether Single or Married

(Matthew 5:27-31)

27 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery’; 28 but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29 Now if your right eye is causing you to sin, tear it out and throw it away from you; for it is better for you to lose one of the parts of your body, than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30 And if your right hand is causing you to sin, cut it off and throw it away from you; for it is better for you to lose one of the parts of your body, than for your whole body to go into hell.

31 “Now it was said, ‘Whoever sends his wife away is to give her a certificate of divorce’; 32 but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the reason of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

TODAY'S TAKEAWAY

God created mankind so that He would have someone to love, and desires that all will choose to love Him back in a personal relationship.  Creating mankind with the intention of having intimate relationships, He also created man and woman with marriage in mind.  Only intended for marriage, sex is a miracle of creation where there is literally a physical marriage - where the two become one flesh.  

We hear how people always remember "their first one".  Yes - that's because you married that person!  The most important sexual organ that we have is our minds.  Whatever we have done, seen or heard, is what we will take with us into our marriage, and into our marriage bed.  So the purer we keep ourselves, the better sex will be within the marriage.  There is more trust, confidence, encouragement and security when we can both say we were faithful to each other our entire lives, even before we met each other.

The verses above support the importance of maintaining purity, even in and especially in our hearts and minds.  Any sort of lusting will cause one to feel unfulfilled and make it more difficult not to stray.  This is emotional adultery, and a spouse will sense the other pulling away.  Notice that these verses don't put the onus on the spouse for maybe not being sexual enough.  And these verses don't put the onus on the "other" person, who may or may not be vying for attention or selfishly trying to be a marriage-wreaker.  Lust can happen in many different forms.  Therefore, any type of pornography is deceptive and destructive, even for one who is single.  This would include "graphic" romance novels and movies.  So. ladies, we are not exempt.  We are all responsible for what we put into our minds and hearts.

In this light, flirting should remain within a marriage, and carried out in privacy;  and even then, flirting should have good intentions which lead to something between the husband and wife.  It would be cruel to flirt, but then turn them down.  A healthy, enjoyable marriage, does include healthy, enjoyable sex.  The Bible even tells us clearly that spouses are not to deprive one another (1 Corinthians 7).  While the onus is on each individual to remain faithful, why would we want to make it "easier" for our spouse to drift away???!!!

Outside of the marriage, there is no such thing as harmless flirting, because we have no idea how the other person will take this!!!  Your intentions might be to have "just a little careless fun", but this can lead to a lot of other acts of carelessness.  And if you are dating or married, and you are flirting with someone else, this is a whole other level of cruelty!  Here's another way to think about it, all of your sexual energy, vibes, flirting, etc... should be reserved for your spouse!!!  In this way, when both have done that, both GET 100%!!!  And nothing from your reserves have been carelessly, unfaithfully thrown away to someone else.

Marriage is difficult enough when we do all the right things.  And that includes marrying another believer!  One should never marry an unbeliever thinking that you will be able to save them, or that God will answer your prayers that they become a believer.  God gives everyone a free will, and will never force anyone to love Him back.  And even once someone becomes a believer, He will never force anyone to live in obedience to His will.  

Therefore, we can see the importance of a believer patiently and prayerfully marrying another believer.  And then, having the most important in common, we can work together as a very tightly woven team, which not just includes God, but relies on God, putting Him first, ahead of our spouse, and everything else.  As both husband and wife grow closer to the Lord, they will grow closer to each other.  And as both husband and wife read God's word, pray to the Lord Jesus for help and wisdom, and listen to the Holy Spirit's guidance with willing and obedient hearts, God will lead the marriage in a wonderfully unified direction, because He also created us with the purpose of serving and glorifying Him.

(1 Corinthians 10:31)  Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all things for the glory of God.