relationships (Matthew 20:20-34) Humbly Serving

(Matthew 20:20-34)

20 Then the mother of the sons of Zebedee came to Jesus with her sons, bowing down and making a request of Him. 21 And He said to her, “What do you desire?” She said to Him, “Say that in Your kingdom these two sons of mine shall sit, one at Your right, and one at Your left.” 22 But Jesus replied, “You do not know what you are asking. Are you able to drink the cup that I am about to drink?” They said to Him, “We are able.” 23 He said to them, “My cup you shall drink; but to sit at My right and at My left is not Mine to give, but it is for those for whom it has been prepared by My Father.”

24 And after hearing this, the other ten disciples became indignant with the two brothers. 25 But Jesus called them to Himself and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles domineer over them, and those in high position exercise authority over them. 26 It is not this way among you, but whoever wants to become prominent among you shall be your servant, 27 and whoever desires to be first among you shall be your slave; 28 just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many.”

TODAY'S TAKEAWAY:

Oh Moms!!!  Parents, actually.  But in those days, in the Jewish and Roman culture, a mother's intercession was often more effective than if a man directly petitioned for himself.  In a previous chapter, we even saw Jesus' half brothers bringing their mom with them, hoping to convince Jesus to stop what He was doing.  And even still, some people think that by praying to the mother Mary, their prayers will somehow have more power to convince and sway the Lord.  But as we see here, these tactics do not work with God!  And of course, in His word, the Lord specifically tells us to only pray to Him!

Mothers might be able to plead and guilt others into breaking down some walls, and they will know some stuff, but they are not perfect.  Good parenting skills involve seeking out and living in the Lord's will, teaching their children God's words and how to have a personal relationship with Him.  God is sovereign, and actually knows best!  And while all children are precious in the Lord's sight, our children are not perfect, and they have so much to learn, along with all the rest of us!

Jesus had just told the disciples that He was going to suffer and be crucified - the worst form of death known to man - and here the brothers boldly claimed how they were able to drink the same cup (of death).  Yikes, be careful what we ask for!  Well, later in their ministries, James was beheaded, and while John wasn't executed, he was severely persecuted.  They both learned and served the Lord faithfully, but by then, of course, they understood that we are to serve the Lord with humble hearts, to glorify God, and NOT ourselves!

In those days, government leaders tended to be tyrants and abused their power, because of selfishness, pride and greed.  But in God's kingdom, because of God's agape love, that is selfless, generous, sacrificial and unconditional, the first will be last, and the last will be first.  It is the humble heart "that wins".  

With a humble heart that has accepted the Lord's salvation, we are victorious in what Jesus accomplished on the cross:  victory over death and freedom from our sins.  And in this victory, we can understand and desire to follow the example that Jesus set before us.  Humbly leaving His heavenly throne to be born in flesh, to be fully man, while still being fully God, He came to show us the way to redemption and His righteousness, so that we can have a personal relationship with Him.  And by His example, we can see and know that in all our relationships, it is not about being served, but humbly serving.

relationships (Matthew 20:17-19) Need to Know Basis

(Matthew 20:17-19)

17 As Jesus was about to go up to Jerusalem, He took the twelve disciples aside by themselves, and on the road He said to them, 18 “Behold, we are going up to Jerusalem, and the Son of Man will be handed over to the chief priests and scribes, and they will condemn Him to death, 19 and they will hand Him over to the Gentiles to mock and flog and crucify, and on the third day He will be raised up.”

TODAY'S TAKEAWAY:

- verse 17 ("He took them aside...")

The Lord wants a close personal relationship with us, to converse with us, privately as well as publicly.

- verse 18 ("Behold...")

The Lord tells us everything that we need to know about the future and His plans, which helps prepare us for the "right now".  While He tells us just the right amount, to help us trust Him with confidence, the Lord doesn't share everything with us about the future, because He wants us to learn to trust Him more in our daily lives.  After all, Christianity is all about having that close relationship with Him, and going to Him for all our day-to-day, minute-to-minute stuff!  For absolutely everything!  It's the most perfectly loving "need to know" basis.  So anytime we need to know something, He is right there with us, ready to have a conversation with us!

- verse 18 ("we are going to...")

The Lord God will not only direct our paths, but He will always be right there with us. Notice that they were all going to Jerusalem, together, but only the Lord was going to suffer and die and rise again.

- verse 18 ("the Son of Man will be...")

The Lord talks about Himself in the third person, which, after really thinking about it, is a way to say what He wanted to say with humility.  On so many levels, Jesus was and is our perfect example to follow.  Even though Jesus is God, Himself, by not saying "I - will be...", in the way that Jesus does say it, He is giving all the glory to the Lord God!

- verse 18 ("the Son of Man will be...")

The Lord does the impossible FOR us, not only taking our place in death to pay for all sins, but in His resurrection, He provides the way to be reconciled to Him, so He can live through us and do life with us, for anyone who accepts His gift of salvation.

  

- verse 18-19 (the chief priests, scribes and Gentiles...)

The Lord doesn't sugarcoat things.  He wants us to know that there is sin, injustice and forces in this world, which are all trying to work against God and His plan.

- verse 18-19 ("He will be raised up")

The Lord lets us know of His plans, so that we can understand that even though there are struggles, there is absolute hope.  Because Jesus had victory over death, when we repent, we die to sin and have victory over death, obtaining certain hope that is eternal life in Jesus.

The Lord does not leave us in the dark!  He is the Light.  And He is the Way, the Truth and the Life!  Because He is Love, and because He desires that we have a close, personal relationship with Him, He makes this all possible!!!

relationships (Matthew 20:1-16) Contentment and Joy

(Matthew 20:1-16)

“For the kingdom of heaven is like a landowner who went out early in the morning to hire laborers for his vineyard. 2 When he had agreed with the laborers for a denarius for the day, he sent them into his vineyard. 3 And he went out about the third hour and saw others standing idle in the marketplace; 4 and to those he said, ‘You go into the vineyard also, and whatever is right, I will give you.’ And so they went. 5 Again he went out about the sixth and the ninth hour, and did the same thing. 6 And about the eleventh hour he went out and found others standing around; and he said to them, ‘Why have you been standing here idle all day long?’ 7 They said to him, ‘Because no one hired us.’ He said to them, ‘You go into the vineyard too.’

8 “Now when evening came, the owner of the vineyard said to his foreman, ‘Call the laborers and pay them their wages, starting with the last group to the first.’ 9 When those hired about the eleventh hour came, each one received a denarius. 10 And so when those hired first came, they thought that they would receive more; but each of them also received a denarius. 11 When they received it, they grumbled at the landowner, 12 saying, ‘These who were hired last worked only one hour, and you have made them equal to us who have borne the burden of the day’s work and the scorching heat.’ 13 But he answered and said to one of them, ‘Friend, I am doing you no wrong; did you not agree with me for a denarius? 14 Take what is yours and go; but I want to give to this last person the same as to you. 15 Is it not lawful for me to do what I want with what is my own? Or is your eye envious because I am generous?’ 16 So the last shall be first, and the first, last.”

TODAY'S TAKEAWAY:

Jesus was not (just) talking about jobs and income here.  He used this experience because this is what people understood.  A denarius was a full day's pay.  And those who worked the fields understood that time was of the essence, because of the urgency to finish the harvesting before sundown;  so those coming to work for that last hour would have worked extra hard and extra fast, even though they would never have expected to be paid a full day's wage.  

Other facts about this society is good to understand.  Like this landowner, those who were philanthropic were highly esteemed;  therefore, anyone who complained about receiving fair payment for their work would have been viewed as rude, disrespectful and ungrateful.  As well, hired workers were never considered "friends" of the landowners;  therefore, the workers who complained would have been put to shame when this benevolent landowner still showed respect to them and called them "friends".

Because the Lord God is "the landowner" of all things, He rightfully owns all things, and gives to us, and allows us to have everything that we have, even life itself.  And God's economy doesn't just involve physical wealth and blessings here on earth, this parable also applies to salvation, spiritual gifts, covenants and blessings in the Millennial kingdom, as well as rewards in heaven.

Regarding physical wealth:  God knows that when we take our eyes off of Him and begin to compare what we have to what others have, we will become dissatisfied, jealous and angry.  I am actually very thankful that I experienced living under poverty level (while a missionary, a college student, and early on in marriage).  Because, throughout all those years, I was able to learn how to truly rely on the Lord, and experience His miraculous provisions and care!  And because of my faith and trust in the Lord, I am always "rich" in God's love, joy, peace, strength, and contentment!  As we faithfully tithe, the Lord makes sure that we always have what we need, which only increases our faith and trust in Him, in everything, and for everything.  And even if God's will would be that we remain or go back to living in poverty, I would still be satisfied, fulfilled and complete in Him!  

Regarding salvation:  God knew that, for instance, some Jews (God's chosen ones), would have an issue with gentiles being included.  But, it doesn't matter who a person is, or where they are from, God offers salvation to all people, because it is His desire that all come to know Him in a personal relationship!   God also knew that, for instance, some of us might struggle when an enemy becomes a believer and gets to go to heaven, even if it is much later in life.  But, it doesn't matter how sinful and crime-ridden a person's life has been, when we repent of our sins, we all receive the same forgiveness and eternal life!  We all receive the Lord God's indwelling Holy Spirit.  And we are all covered in the righteousness of Jesus!  So then, let us rejoice together when our enemies find the Lord Jesus Christ, and become our spiritual brothers and sisters!

Regarding spiritual gifts:  God knows that we might struggle with seeing some people receive all sorts of spiritual gifts, while we might "only" get one, which might "seem" less important.  But, because God sees us all as equal, and as He sees fit, all believers receive purpose and at least one spiritual gift, which we are to use to serve God and others.  It really doesn't matter what or how - but THAT we serve - with perseverance, in His love, joy and strength, all to His glory!  And the Lord will always use our humble service to produce fruit and multiply these things.

Regarding the Millennial kingdom:  God knows that in any era or situation, people will outright reject and hate Him, disrespect Him and/or take Him for granted, even when living in times of great blessings.  The Tribulation will NOT be such a time, and at the start, there will not be any Christians.  But those becoming believers during the seven years (whether Jew or gentile), will all be brought into the Millennial kingdom, and the Lord Jesus will take the throne and fulfill all covenants with Israel.  The earth will be replenished, fruitful and garden-of-Eden-like.  It won't be without sin, but Jesus will maintain justice and peace on the entire earth for the thousand year reign.  And He will be physically visible and accessible to all.  But those being born during that time will still have to make a decision to accept or reject the salvation of the Lord.

Regarding heaven:  God will judge and reward all believers of all time according to their good deeds done with righteous motives, all to God's glory.  Obviously, once we are in heaven, with glorified bodies, and we will be without suffering, sorrow or sin, we will not be jealous or compare ourselves to others.  What we all WILL do, in perfect, holy unity, is glorify the Lord.  And whatever we have been given, we will all give back to Him in praise and worship!

The Lord is sovereign!  The Lord is righteous, fair and just!  The Lord is so good!

relationships (Matthew 19:16-30) Benefiting From the Deepest Love Possible

(Matthew 19:16-30)

16 And someone came to Him and said, “Teacher, what good thing shall I do so that I may obtain eternal life?” 17 And He said to him, “Why are you asking Me about what is good? There is only One who is good; but if you want to enter life, keep the commandments.” 18 Then he said to Him, “Which ones?” And Jesus said, “You shall not commit murder; You shall not commit adultery; You shall not steal; You shall not give false testimony; 19 Honor your father and mother; and You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” 20 The young man said to Him, “All these I have kept; what am I still lacking?” 21 Jesus said to him, “If you want to be complete, go and sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me.” 22 But when the young man heard this statement, he went away grieving; for he was one who owned much property.

23 And Jesus said to His disciples, “Truly I say to you, it will be hard for a rich person to enter the kingdom of heaven. 24 And again I say to you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich person to enter the kingdom of God.” 25 When the disciples heard this, they were very astonished and said, “Then who can be saved?” 26 And looking at them, Jesus said to them, “With people this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

27 Then Peter responded and said to Him, “Behold, we have left everything and followed You; what then will there be for us?” 28 And Jesus said to them, “Truly I say to you, that you who have followed Me, in the regeneration when the Son of Man will sit on His glorious throne, you also shall sit upon twelve thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel. 29 And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or farms on account of My name, will receive many times as much, and will inherit eternal life. 30 But many who are first will be last; and the last, first.

TODAY'S TAKEAWAY:

No matter how rich we are physically, one needs to realize how poverty-stricken we are spiritually, before one can have a relationship with the Lord God.  If the most important relationship is with money, It will be very difficult for that person to see their need for Jesus and His salvation.  In fact, if money comes first, all other relationships will not go well.  There isn't enough money in the world that will obtain healthy relationships.  And all of the money in the world cannot buy one's way into heaven.  It's impossible.

No matter how good we are physically (in our own efforts), one has to realize that it is still far from being good enough to have a relationship with the Lord God, or get into heaven.  It's impossible.  God is holy, and cannot have a relationship with sin.  We are all born into sin - missing the mark of perfection.  It is only when we humble our hearts, repent of our sins to accept the Lord's forgiveness, that we can enter into a personal relationship with Him.  In this relationship, He covers us with His righteousness, and He gives us His indwelling Holy Spirit, to change us from the inside out.  He then continues to work in us, and guide us in His love.  In knowing His love, He will help us better love others.  

To put the Lord Jesus first in our lives, we will desire to draw closer to Him, allowing Him to nourish and strengthen and guide us, in His will, in His love, all to His glory.  So when He tells us that we shouldn't murder, commit adultery, steal, lie, dishonor our parents, or hate anyone... because it is His will that we love all people, He will equip us and help us carry that out.  

It's because Christianity is all about having a personal relationship with the Lord!  He wants to do life WITH us!  He gives us purpose, and He wants to help us have healthy relationships with others!  And when we get to heaven, He will judge and reward all deeds done in His righteousness, to His glory!  Spiritually, emotionally, cerebrally and physically, this is the wisest and most enduring investment possible, and we benefit from the deepest and most benevolent love possible.  And it is only possible through the sovereign Lord Jesus!

relationships (Matthew 19:13-15) Small-Talk can Lead to Big Talk Blessings

(Matthew 19:13-15)

13 Then some children were brought to Him so that He would lay His hands on them and pray; and the disciples rebuked them. 14 But Jesus said, “Leave the children alone, and do not forbid them to come to Me; for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” 15 After laying His hands on them, He departed from there.

TODAY'S TAKEAWAY:

Whether we have children or not, this is important to know.  One aspect of these verses involves us blessing the children.  No where in the Bible does it tell us to baptize babies, since baptism is a choice a person makes after they decide to follow Christ, which is to publicly demonstrate their faith.  While, child dedication is when the pastor and the church pray blessings upon the parent/s and their baby (or children)... as the parent/s publicly demonstrate their desire to train up their children in God's love and in God's way, and desire that the church will support, encourage and equip both them and their children.

Another aspect of blessing the children is to - not ignore them or see them as a nuisance - but to show Christ's love to them.  I grew up at the tail-end of that era when adults would say, "Children should be seen and not heard."  Mind you, it's a very good thing to teach children to respect their elders and authority.  Our society has definitely swung way too far the other way, allowing children to run households, classrooms and communities.  First of all, giving children the authority is actually scary and frustrating to them (subconsciously), because they do not know enough to be in charge.  As adults - as the parents - our job is to (age-appropriately) teach, equip and train them up in the way they should go, and that includes us leading them towards knowing and embracing the Lord and His will.

We cannot force, cajole, plead or manipulate anyone into accepting Jesus as their personal Savior.  This is a personal decision each person has to make for themselves  But we are to be praying!  We are to be teaching and taking advantage of each opportunity to guide and mentor.  We are to be consistently taking them to church, and other fun Christian events.  And we are to be leading by example!  

Our children (and grandchildren, and other children) are watching us.  Just a little thing like when we are saying "hi" and holding conversations with people in church, we can include the littles ones.  Here of course we have to be very sex-appropriate, like, how men manage this will be slightly different than how women manage this.  And, while I'm well-seasoned in age, I love talking to everyone... it doesn't matter their age!  My heart is especially drawn to include the teenagers and young adults!

Listen, if you are shy (or scared), get over yourself!  God tells us that we should not worry about or fear anyone or anything!  That would include talking to people!  And,  I used to be the very definition of shy... As a girl, I couldn't even talk to girls my own age unless I knew them well.  But one day, when I realized that all people are shy and nervous and self-conscious, I just decided not to be shy anymore!  God will give me the words and help me be "normal".  And it is as easy as walking up to someone and saying, "Hi, my name is ____."  Ask questions like, "How long have you been coming to this church?"  Or, especially if they seem like they want to run away, tell them something like, "Hope you have a wonderful week!"

Most people want to talk to someone.  And if they really don't, then unless that person is truly busy with something, they are obviously struggling with something.  But they will remember even your smallest efforts... like simply continuing to smile, wave, and say "hi" to them!  It's very interesting how people's faces will light up when they see you "the next time" - because it's the familiarity that people grow comfortable with.  Even young closed-off-sullen-looking teenagers, I've gotten to know so well that they look for me to talk to, and man, do they want to talk!  And then I pray, that through these moments of interactions, people see and experience Jesus and His love and His blessings!!!

relationships (Matthew 19:10-12) Whether Single or Married

(Matthew 19:10-12)

10 The disciples said to Him, “If the relationship of the man with his wife is like this, it is better not to marry.” 11 But He said to them, “Not all men can accept this statement, but only those to whom it has been given. 12 For there are eunuchs who were born that way from their mother’s womb; and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by people; and there are also eunuchs who made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. The one who is able to accept this, let him accept it.”

TODAY'S TAKEAWAY:

It is only a personal relationship with the Lord God that will complete us, satisfy us and fulfill us.  Yet, God also created us to be social, desiring to have friendships and close fellowship, as well as have an intimate relationship with a spouse.  But, because mankind sinned, we now live in a fallen, broken world.  And the spiritual battle that exists is real.  Satan's realm does whatever it can to take what God has created as very good, and tries to distort, deceive, divide and destroy these things, including the sanctity of marriage and sex.

To make a marriage work, requires a lot of work, until death.  Marriages will be stronger when both the husband and the wife desire to make it work, and marriages will be even stronger when both the husband and the wife, together and individually, strive to grow closer to the Lord.  In this, they can become a "power couple" - because they will both be trusting in and relying on the Lord's power and strength.  And there will be peace and unity, because each of them are praying for and being open to the Holy Spirit's unifying direction.  

In teamwork, God will give a couple opportunities to serve.  Sometimes their spiritual gifts will enable them to serve together in some way, but God will never call them to go on completely different paths, in completely different directions.  Also, He will never ask that we become so consumed in a ministry that we neglect our spouse.  This is not God's will.  He knows the difficulties that arise when couples are separated for long periods of time.  So, even though each spouse may have a different type of spiritual gift, God will work it out that it will be in the same location.  Like, if one feels called to the mission field in another country, the other will receive that same calling, to go to the same place, to use whatever gifts they have!  

There are times that we should say "no" to serving the Lord.  While we are to put God first in our lives, and we are to serve God and others, God does not want us to neglect our spouse and children and other responsibilities.  God will call us to serve where He wants us, and in the way He equips and strengthens us.  Therefore, we should all be asking the Lord to show us where, how and when we are to serve.  Just like in a marriage, when all believers in a church are serving, in God's direction and unity, it is such a blessing and wonderful thing!

Could we get more things done if we are not married?  Definitely!  Back when I was single, I determined that I was going to embrace my singleness, by striving in God's will and being content in the Lord.  And if and when it was His will that I get married, He was going to work that out!  I'm not going to say that it was all easy, but it was definitely worth the wait.  What helped was to deny myself...  What helped was to not dwell on the flesh, but keep myself constructively busy...  What helped was lots of praying and staying close to the Lord!

These verses are not suggesting that anyone mutilate their bodies in any way!  What happened in those days was, some people got overly zealous in their own efforts to be spiritual, and/or things were done to others which forced them to servitude.  Either way, what was done was done, and then when these eunuchs became believers... this was the state that they found themselves in.  From whatever state one finds themselves, this is where we start to seek God's direction.

There are also those who are born asexual... not having any sexual desires at all.  This is why, right here, Jesus is inferring to the disciples that no one should be told that they have to remain single in order to serve God.  At the same time, no one should be told that they have to be married in order to serve God.  Each one needs to work these things out with the Lord and His guidance and strength.  God has a plan for each one of us.  Just know that, whether single or married, everything is a journey of spiritual maturity within our personal relationship with the Lord.

relationships (Matthew 19:1-9) Marriage and Divorce Advice

(Matthew 19:1-9)

1 When Jesus had finished these words, He left Galilee and came into the region of Judea beyond the Jordan; 2 and large crowds followed Him, and He healed them there.

3 Some Pharisees came to Jesus, testing Him and asking, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason at all?” 4 And He answered and said, “Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning made them male and female, 5 and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, no person is to separate.” 7 They said to Him, “Why, then, did Moses command to give her a certificate of divorce and send her away?” 8 He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been this way. 9 And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”

TODAY'S TAKEAWAY:

It is never God's will that couples divorce.  Sadly this happens.  And for believers, only if a spouse has committed adultery, the other is free to divorce and remarry.  Also, if one's spouse is an unbeliever and the unbeliever decides to leave, then the believer is free to divorce and remarry...

(1 Corinthians 7:15) Yet if the unbelieving one is leaving, let him leave; the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us in peace.

It is never God's will that a believer marries an unbeliever, although, sadly this can happen, especially if one rushes into marriage before seeing evidence of whether or not one is actually a true believer.  Once the Christian realizes that their spouse is not a believer, one should still strive to make that marriage work!  I've heard from many people that, while marriage is already difficult, being married to an unbeliever is extra difficult.

(2 Corinthians 6:14-16a)  Do not be mismatched with unbelievers; for what do righteousness and lawlessness share together, or what does light have in common with darkness? 15 Or what harmony does Christ have with Belial, or what does a believer share with an unbeliever? 16 Or what agreement does the temple of God have with idols? For we are the temple of the living God...

Now, when two unbelievers get married, and then one of them becomes a Christian, this is obviously not against God's will.  This is when the church should surround the new believer with encouragement, equipping and supporting them, and praying that the new believer strives to maintain a steadfast, loving, gracious and nurturing testimony within their marriage, and that their spouse also become a believer.

So why would God recommend that believers not remarry for other reasons?!  

Well, remember that God created us and knows us better than we know ourselves.  The Lord is the great psychologist, and knows that we can fall into self-sabotaging patterns and habits.  For instance, if one has a pattern of selfish and self-centered behavior, then that person needs to work on themselves which will strengthen their marriage.  We need to adjust how we love, so that we are loving each other with unconditional, sacrificial love.  We need to adjust our desires, so that we are serving each other, and treating the other person as more important than ourselves.  Etc.  To just flit from marriage to marriage in efforts to find anyone who will give us exactly everything we want, is not only unhealthy, but, it doesn't exist!

I also know a few people who have been remarried several times because they are attracted to those who are abusive.  Some of them, on their third marriage, will become determined to make it work, because the abuse isn't as bad as the others, or, they just don't want to be known as "that" person.  

Obviously, it is not God's will to be abusive, or to put oneself or keep oneself (and one's children) in abusive situations.  Abuse is not good, not healthy, and not safe, especially if it is physical, or a physical threat exists.  Getting a divorce is not necessarily recommended, but one must safely get themselves (and their children) to safety, and then seek counseling.  There are Christian experts who can help, even with setting up safe extractions.  And if the abusive spouse is a believer, then this situation requires the process of Matthew 18:15-18.  And depending on the severity, it might just be necessary to remain separated (and depending on how extreme the situation is, set up supervised parental visitations).

Staying in abusive situations with one's children does not benefit the children.  Yes, children need both parents, and the ideal situation is that all are living and working together in God's peace and unity.  But the home is to be a safe place of love!  

When both the husband and wife prioritize their personal relationship with God, they will grow closer to each other.  Their relationship with the Lord is most important, and then in second place is their marital relationship.  Continue dating!!!  When a marriage relationship is strong, the children will feel more secure, and will be more confident and at peace.  Now, if and when one has children, and you are looking to remarry... this is a unique situation where you must make sure your children maintain confidence, peace and safety throughout that process.  Beware of pedophiles who are out to marry women with children!

I don't want to end on a dark note, but there is darkness all around us;  so let us look to God's light, and trust in His ways, because He cares, and has a much, much better way and plan for us.  Marriage will not "complete" or "fulfill" us.  Only having God in our lives will complete, fulfill and satisfy our souls.  Yet, still, God wants to bless us with marriages that are God-centered, based on His love, joy, peace, strength and wisdom, therefore we can trust in the Lord as our matchmaker and marriage counselor!