relationships (Matthew 19:10-12) Whether Single or Married

(Matthew 19:10-12)

10 The disciples said to Him, “If the relationship of the man with his wife is like this, it is better not to marry.” 11 But He said to them, “Not all men can accept this statement, but only those to whom it has been given. 12 For there are eunuchs who were born that way from their mother’s womb; and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by people; and there are also eunuchs who made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. The one who is able to accept this, let him accept it.”

TODAY'S TAKEAWAY:

It is only a personal relationship with the Lord God that will complete us, satisfy us and fulfill us.  Yet, God also created us to be social, desiring to have friendships and close fellowship, as well as have an intimate relationship with a spouse.  But, because mankind sinned, we now live in a fallen, broken world.  And the spiritual battle that exists is real.  Satan's realm does whatever it can to take what God has created as very good, and tries to distort, deceive, divide and destroy these things, including the sanctity of marriage and sex.

To make a marriage work, requires a lot of work, until death.  Marriages will be stronger when both the husband and the wife desire to make it work, and marriages will be even stronger when both the husband and the wife, together and individually, strive to grow closer to the Lord.  In this, they can become a "power couple" - because they will both be trusting in and relying on the Lord's power and strength.  And there will be peace and unity, because each of them are praying for and being open to the Holy Spirit's unifying direction.  

In teamwork, God will give a couple opportunities to serve.  Sometimes their spiritual gifts will enable them to serve together in some way, but God will never call them to go on completely different paths, in completely different directions.  Also, He will never ask that we become so consumed in a ministry that we neglect our spouse.  This is not God's will.  He knows the difficulties that arise when couples are separated for long periods of time.  So, even though each spouse may have a different type of spiritual gift, God will work it out that it will be in the same location.  Like, if one feels called to the mission field in another country, the other will receive that same calling, to go to the same place, to use whatever gifts they have!  

There are times that we should say "no" to serving the Lord.  While we are to put God first in our lives, and we are to serve God and others, God does not want us to neglect our spouse and children and other responsibilities.  God will call us to serve where He wants us, and in the way He equips and strengthens us.  Therefore, we should all be asking the Lord to show us where, how and when we are to serve.  Just like in a marriage, when all believers in a church are serving, in God's direction and unity, it is such a blessing and wonderful thing!

Could we get more things done if we are not married?  Definitely!  Back when I was single, I determined that I was going to embrace my singleness, by striving in God's will and being content in the Lord.  And if and when it was His will that I get married, He was going to work that out!  I'm not going to say that it was all easy, but it was definitely worth the wait.  What helped was to deny myself...  What helped was to not dwell on the flesh, but keep myself constructively busy...  What helped was lots of praying and staying close to the Lord!

These verses are not suggesting that anyone mutilate their bodies in any way!  What happened in those days was, some people got overly zealous in their own efforts to be spiritual, and/or things were done to others which forced them to servitude.  Either way, what was done was done, and then when these eunuchs became believers... this was the state that they found themselves in.  From whatever state one finds themselves, this is where we start to seek God's direction.

There are also those who are born asexual... not having any sexual desires at all.  This is why, right here, Jesus is inferring to the disciples that no one should be told that they have to remain single in order to serve God.  At the same time, no one should be told that they have to be married in order to serve God.  Each one needs to work these things out with the Lord and His guidance and strength.  God has a plan for each one of us.  Just know that, whether single or married, everything is a journey of spiritual maturity within our personal relationship with the Lord.

relationships (Matthew 19:1-9) Marriage and Divorce Advice

(Matthew 19:1-9)

1 When Jesus had finished these words, He left Galilee and came into the region of Judea beyond the Jordan; 2 and large crowds followed Him, and He healed them there.

3 Some Pharisees came to Jesus, testing Him and asking, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason at all?” 4 And He answered and said, “Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning made them male and female, 5 and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, no person is to separate.” 7 They said to Him, “Why, then, did Moses command to give her a certificate of divorce and send her away?” 8 He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been this way. 9 And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”

TODAY'S TAKEAWAY:

It is never God's will that couples divorce.  Sadly this happens.  And for believers, only if a spouse has committed adultery, the other is free to divorce and remarry.  Also, if one's spouse is an unbeliever and the unbeliever decides to leave, then the believer is free to divorce and remarry...

(1 Corinthians 7:15) Yet if the unbelieving one is leaving, let him leave; the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us in peace.

It is never God's will that a believer marries an unbeliever, although, sadly this can happen, especially if one rushes into marriage before seeing evidence of whether or not one is actually a true believer.  Once the Christian realizes that their spouse is not a believer, one should still strive to make that marriage work!  I've heard from many people that, while marriage is already difficult, being married to an unbeliever is extra difficult.

(2 Corinthians 6:14-16a)  Do not be mismatched with unbelievers; for what do righteousness and lawlessness share together, or what does light have in common with darkness? 15 Or what harmony does Christ have with Belial, or what does a believer share with an unbeliever? 16 Or what agreement does the temple of God have with idols? For we are the temple of the living God...

Now, when two unbelievers get married, and then one of them becomes a Christian, this is obviously not against God's will.  This is when the church should surround the new believer with encouragement, equipping and supporting them, and praying that the new believer strives to maintain a steadfast, loving, gracious and nurturing testimony within their marriage, and that their spouse also become a believer.

So why would God recommend that believers not remarry for other reasons?!  

Well, remember that God created us and knows us better than we know ourselves.  The Lord is the great psychologist, and knows that we can fall into self-sabotaging patterns and habits.  For instance, if one has a pattern of selfish and self-centered behavior, then that person needs to work on themselves which will strengthen their marriage.  We need to adjust how we love, so that we are loving each other with unconditional, sacrificial love.  We need to adjust our desires, so that we are serving each other, and treating the other person as more important than ourselves.  Etc.  To just flit from marriage to marriage in efforts to find anyone who will give us exactly everything we want, is not only unhealthy, but, it doesn't exist!

I also know a few people who have been remarried several times because they are attracted to those who are abusive.  Some of them, on their third marriage, will become determined to make it work, because the abuse isn't as bad as the others, or, they just don't want to be known as "that" person.  

Obviously, it is not God's will to be abusive, or to put oneself or keep oneself (and one's children) in abusive situations.  Abuse is not good, not healthy, and not safe, especially if it is physical, or a physical threat exists.  Getting a divorce is not necessarily recommended, but one must safely get themselves (and their children) to safety, and then seek counseling.  There are Christian experts who can help, even with setting up safe extractions.  And if the abusive spouse is a believer, then this situation requires the process of Matthew 18:15-18.  And depending on the severity, it might just be necessary to remain separated (and depending on how extreme the situation is, set up supervised parental visitations).

Staying in abusive situations with one's children does not benefit the children.  Yes, children need both parents, and the ideal situation is that all are living and working together in God's peace and unity.  But the home is to be a safe place of love!  

When both the husband and wife prioritize their personal relationship with God, they will grow closer to each other.  Their relationship with the Lord is most important, and then in second place is their marital relationship.  Continue dating!!!  When a marriage relationship is strong, the children will feel more secure, and will be more confident and at peace.  Now, if and when one has children, and you are looking to remarry... this is a unique situation where you must make sure your children maintain confidence, peace and safety throughout that process.  Beware of pedophiles who are out to marry women with children!

I don't want to end on a dark note, but there is darkness all around us;  so let us look to God's light, and trust in His ways, because He cares, and has a much, much better way and plan for us.  Marriage will not "complete" or "fulfill" us.  Only having God in our lives will complete, fulfill and satisfy our souls.  Yet, still, God wants to bless us with marriages that are God-centered, based on His love, joy, peace, strength and wisdom, therefore we can trust in the Lord as our matchmaker and marriage counselor!

relationships (Matthew 18:21-35) Forgiveness vs Bitterness

(Matthew 18:21-35)

21 Then Peter came up and said to Him, “Lord, how many times shall my brother sin against me and I still forgive him? Up to seven times?” 22 Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy-seven times.

23 “For this reason the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his slaves. 24 And when he had begun to settle them, one who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him. 25 But since he did not have the means to repay, his master commanded that he be sold, along with his wife and children and all that he had, and repayment be made. 26 So the slave fell to the ground and prostrated himself before him, saying, ‘Have patience with me and I will repay you everything.’ 27 And the master of that slave felt compassion, and he released him and forgave him the debt. 28 But that slave went out and found one of his fellow slaves who owed him a hundred denarii; and he seized him and began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay back what you owe!’ 29 So his fellow slave fell to the ground and began to plead with him, saying, ‘Have patience with me and I will repay you.’ 30 But he was unwilling, and went and threw him in prison until he would pay back what was owed. 31 So when his fellow slaves saw what had happened, they were deeply grieved and came and reported to their master all that had happened. 32 Then summoning him, his master said to him, ‘You wicked slave, I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. 33 Should you not also have had mercy on your fellow slave, in the same way that I had mercy on you?’ 34 And his master, moved with anger, handed him over to the torturers until he would repay all that was owed him. 35 My heavenly Father will also do the same to you, if each of you does not forgive his brother from your heart.”

TODAY'S TAKEAWAY:

Jesus gives us some mathematical equations, but it doesn't matter if this isn't our strongest subject.  Jesus gives us examples of some really big numbers in order to demonstrate what is important.  Like: 70x7=490.  That's a big number - when we're talking about forgiving just one person.  The point is: we are not to keep count.  

The coworker's debt to the first slave was a day's wage, while the first slave owed the king a year's wage.  And he probably put his coworker out of commission by choking him, which would have been more lost income.  In those times, even if the king had sold the slave, his wife and all of his children, the king's loss would still be great.  In fact, he would only have recouped one-thousandths of what was owed!  And any earthly king, even a benevolent one, would be furious with this slave.

Well, let's liken these debts to sin.  Our sins are debts before God.  But, because of God's great love, He came in flesh to die on the cross to pay for all sins, of all time, for all people, and rose again so that He could forgive all our debts.  Even if we give our own lives to God, this would never even come close to paying back to Him what is owed.  But the Lord doesn't ask for anything, except for our humble hearts of repentance!  What a deal!  We give Him our sins in exchange for His forgiveness, freedom from our slavery to sin, to receive eternal life and enjoy a close relationship with Him forever, guaranteed!

Now, for those who reject the Lord's free gift of salvation, the Lord God will give each person more than adequate opportunity to make their decision for all eternity.  The Lord knows who will or will not reject Him, yet still, He will show kindness even to those who hate Him and hate His ways.  In life, people will have near-death-experiences, and some of these will even have an idea that it was God who showed them mercy... yet, they will still continue on in their self-serving ways, until the end;  and by then, their debts will only have increased.

For those who do become believers, but fall into self-serving lifestyles, refusing to forgive as they have been forgiven... because the Lord loves them, He will discipline them to get their attention, because God desires that we continue returning to Him... over and over again... because He is a God of forgiveness, mercy and grace!  Now, God will allow various circumstances in our lives.  Some will be very logical... like if and when a believer refuses to forgive those who hurt them, their unforgiving heart will become filled with hate, fear and bitterness!  Besides feeling miserable in spirit, their loved ones will notice, and will be affected.

I know from experience!  In realizing that God created us, and as the great psychologist who knows us better than we know ourselves, when He gives us directions, it really is for our own good, as well as for the good of those around us!  So when I finally asked God to forgive a specific nemesis FOR me, a literal weight lifted up off of me, and instantaneously, I loved and empathized for that person.  Eventually, I even developed an amazing relationship with them.  That was totally a God-thing!  But in that moment, I really realized just how important it is to forgive, and experience God at work!!!

God asks us to forgive everyone who hurts us, no matter how egregious their offences are, whether they apologize or not, every time, all the time.  Forgiving others is such a good thing for so many reasons, and here are just a few of them:

• unforgiveness is unhealthy (physically, emotionally and spiritually), like drinking the poison and expecting the other person to suffer
• forgiveness frees our hearts from the chains of hatred and bitterness (that drag us down and cause us to become the very thing/s we hate and fear)
• forgiveness demonstrates God's love, forgiveness and grace to others
• forgiveness can pave the way to reconciliation, and if the offenders are not believers, it can lead to an opportunity to share the gospel message with them
• forgiveness demonstrates our trust in the Lord (allowing Him to take vengeance on others for us, in His justice, righteousness, timing and method)
• forgiveness demonstrates our faith in the Lord (to fill us with His peace, joy, love and contentment)

relationships (Matthew 18:15-20) Trouble Shooting

(Matthew 18:15-20)

15 “Now if your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private; if he listens to you, you have gained your brother. 16 But if he does not listen to you, take one or two more with you, so that on the testimony of two or three witnesses every matter may be confirmed. 17 And if he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, he is to be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. 18 Truly I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall have been bound in heaven; and whatever you loose on earth shall have been loosed in heaven.

19 “Again I say to you, that if two of you agree on earth about anything that they may ask, it shall be done for them by My Father who is in heaven. 20 For where two or three have gathered together in My name, I am there in their midst.”

TODAY'S TAKEAWAY:

Only the Lord can judge a person's heart and their motives for doing and saying anything, and only the Lord can really know if someone is a true believer or not.  Meanwhile, the Lord has given all believers the authority to know God's word and His will, as each believer has received His indwelling Holy Spirit who helps us correctly understand, interpret and apply scripture to our lives.  And as verse 20 implies, the more believers who meet together to study God's words and pray over situations, the better the understanding of God's will.  Like, iron sharpens iron!

The key factor then, in applying the rest of these verses (and all verses) is to do all things "in the name of the Lord Jesus"!  Therefore, when we see another fellow believer sin, and if and when the Holy Spirit truly nudges us to approach them, it will be in Jesus' name (in His will, in love and grace, with a sincere and humble heart), because we care about them, and more importantly, God cares about them.

Now, because our emotions can often be involved, it is critical that we don't jump to conclusions, and that we consider the other person's emotions.  Remember, we are to treat others as we want to be treated.  From experience, all too often it can be as simple as a misunderstanding, because we didn't hear or see something correctly, or they meant to do or say something, but it came out wrong.  Like, hearing them say, "I did do that," when they said or meant to say, "I didn't do that."  Therefore, in private, it's so easy to ask, "What exactly did you say?" or "What really happened?" And, "When you said or did that, what did you intend, because it came across like..."  (or "It seemed like...")  And from experience, when it's approached like this, the relationship usually becomes better and stronger.

One thing that will help us in our relationship issues is to be sensitive to others, but not to ourselves!  Love is "patient" - means that we should be able to stomach a lot.  Therefore, the instructions above are not talking about tackling those stupid slipups that we quickly realize and apologize for, or those one-offs.  Right?!  We don't like people pointing out ALL our mistakes, so we should know that others don't, as well.  It's talking about things that are done with a willful, defiant and /or habitual pattern of error that needs addressing.  

Now let's say something was obviously in the wrong.  Before we approach anyone about a sin they have committed, we do need to pray about it.  First of all, make sure that it is actually a sin!  If it was just something based on a difference of opinion or preference, that in itself is not a sin.  If one thinks the church email heading should be blue and the other thinks it should be red, both can be "right".  Simply having disagreements is not a sin.  One should refrain from using dramatic and judgmental words and phrases like, "You offended me!"  Instead, both parties should stop and pray, and ask God for His unity and guidance... and then, there will be a peaceful solution, no matter what it is about!

Now, if a fellow believer did sin, but has already confessed and apologized and made corrections... then leave it alone.  God gives grace, so should we!  Yet, still, continue to pray for one another!  Now, maybe if we see them trying to work on some habitual sin, but they are struggling, this is when we can meet with them and say something like, "I see that you are struggling with this.  I'm praying for you, and if there's any way I can help, let me know."  But also know when something is above our abilities.  They may require our help by searching for a specific expert.

Now let's say, there's a believer who is willfully living in a sinful lifestyle, and it requires our involvement, then we should be praying for God's love and guidance, that He will give us the right timing, attitude and the right words.  And if they resist, then pray about which one or two believers should join in on this conversation.  But if that person still refuses to change, especially if they are serving in the church in any way, it needs to be brought to the church's attention.  If they want to continue with their sinful behavior, they should not be serving.  Because those who serve in church are looked up to as examples to follow, this would be a bad testimony to others, and a bad reflection on the church and on the Lord.

To treat someone as a gentile, is to treat them as an unbeliever, which is to still love and pray for them, and use whatever opportunity God gives us to share God's word with them.  And (because "tax collectors" were harsh, greedy and deceptive), to treat them as a "tax collector" is to not trust them.  Just because we are to love, doesn't mean we have to trust or approve of what someone is doing.  We are told to be aware and alert, and not befriend or be accepting of evil.

To treat these people as a gentile and tax collector means that the dynamic of our relationship will change from seeing them as a fellow believer with all things in common, to that of us seeing them as someone who needs God's salvation... because perhaps, they were never really a true believer to begin with.  They could have just been going through the motions, without understanding that Christianity is about having a personal relationship with the Lord.  

If they are a true believer, they won't lose their salvation, but the Lord will discipline them, allowing consequences into their lives to get their attention.  As well, they will grieve and quench the Holy Spirit so that they will no longer feel His closeness.  And eventually (hopefully) they will also feel like they are missing out on the close fellowship that they experienced with other Christians.

Any form of sin is self-destructive.  As well, sin "splashes".  Somewhere, somehow, others will be affected.  Even as believers, we will still sin, sometimes without realizing it (at first).  So, let's now put the shoe on the other foot.  If and when I'm actually struggling with a sinful habit, although it hurts my pride (as it should, actually), I do want to know, so that I can sort out the issue, confess it... learn from the situation, and maybe there's an apology I need to make in order to mend a fractured relationship.  In the long run, this is for my benefit, as well as for others.    

Now, maybe I dig in my heels and try to justify my words or actions, or deny saying or doing anything at all.  Then, if one or two other people tell me that they've also heard or seen me say or do this a few times... I really pray that this would get my attention, and alert me to a harmful, sinful pattern that is developing.

While making sinful mistakes can diminish our relationships and testimony to others, it's what we do after we make mistakes that can become a great testimony.  I know, the thought of repenting and confessing our sins hurts our pride!  But our pride, greed and self-centeredness are our personal troublemakers in life!  It is only with a continues humbling of our heart, and turning back to the Lord, that we can turn around our lives and things in our lives!

relatonships (Matthew 18:12-14) The Pursuing Love

(Matthew 18:12-14)

12 “What do you think? If any man has a hundred sheep, and one of them goes astray, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the mountains, and go and search for the one that is lost? 13 And if it turns out that he finds it, truly I say to you, he rejoices over it more than over the ninety-nine that have not gone astray. 14 So it is not the will of your Father who is in heaven for one of these little ones to perish.

TODAY'S TAKEAWAY:

In the Old Testament, "sheep" is used to describe God's people, so the ones listening to Jesus' allegory would have quickly caught on to this thought process.  And they would have known that a flock of sheep was usually around one hundred, and that it was common practice for a shepherd to leave their flock in the care of someone they worked with, in order to look for a lost animal;  so, a good shepherd never neglected the ninety-nine.

Jesus had just been talking to the people about humbly depending on the Lord, and humbly serving Him and one another, including the little children (the weak and the vulnerable).  And now He reminds them that the ones who have gone astray are also important to Him!  The spiritual leaders of the people had dropped the ball on all accounts, not just shrugging off those who had gone astray, but they were actually the ones leading the people astray.

The Lord Jesus is the Great Shepherd, who perfectly saves, guides and helps all of His sheep - anyone who believers in Him - will never perish, but have eternal life.  As a child of God, let's understand that it is all about having a personal relationship with Him.  And in this relationship, He gives us purpose, and He blesses each of us with spiritual gifts to use, to serve Him and others, as He leads us.  

Let us also not forget that because it is a relationship, the Lord desires that we go to Him for everything.  In this, He will equip us, and give us His wisdom and strength to accomplish whatever it is He asks us to do.  It is only with God's help and direction, and actually knowing God personally and closely, that we are able to become more like God!

Below are two scripture passages with details around the context of the shepherd and the sheep allegory... how mankind struggles, but how the Lord is the answer!  In His great love, the Lord comes to pursue the lost, and continues to pursue us!

(Ezekiel 34:2-10) 

 2 “Son of man, prophesy against the shepherds of Israel. Prophesy and say to those shepherds, ‘This is what the Lord God says: “Woe, shepherds of Israel who have been feeding themselves! Should the shepherds not feed the flock? 3 You eat the fat and clothe yourselves with the wool, you slaughter the fat sheep without feeding the flock. 4 Those who are sickly you have not strengthened, the diseased you have not healed, the broken you have not bound up, the scattered you have not brought back, nor have you searched for the lost; but with force and with violence you have dominated them. 5 They scattered for lack of a shepherd, and they became food for every animal of the field and scattered. 6 My flock strayed through all the mountains and on every high hill; My flock was scattered over all the surface of the earth, and there was no one to search or seek for them.”’”

7 Therefore, you shepherds, hear the word of the Lord: 8 “As I live,” declares the Lord God, “certainly, because My flock has become plunder, and My flock has become food for all the animals of the field for lack of a shepherd, and My shepherds did not search for My flock, but rather the shepherds fed themselves and did not feed My flock, 9 therefore, you shepherds, hear the word of the Lord: 10 ‘This is what the Lord God says: “Behold, I am against the shepherds, and I will demand My sheep from them and make them stop tending sheep. So the shepherds will not feed themselves anymore, but I will save My sheep from their mouth, so that they will not be food for them.”’”

(Psalm 23:1-6) 

1   The Lord is my shepherd,
     I will not be in need.
2   He lets me lie down in green pastures;
     He leads me beside quiet waters.
3   He restores my soul;
     He guides me in the paths of righteousness 
     For the sake of His name.

4   Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
     I fear no evil, for You are with me;
     Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
5   You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
     You have anointed my head with oil;
     My cup overflows.
6   Certainly goodness and faithfulness will follow me all the days of my life,
     And my dwelling will be in the house of the Lord forever.

relationships (Matthew 18:7-35) Radical Change is Required

(Matthew 18:7-35)

7 “Woe to the world because of its stumbling blocks! For it is inevitable that stumbling blocks come; but woe to the person through whom the stumbling block comes!

8 “And if your hand or your foot is causing you to sin, cut it off and throw it away from you; it is better for you to enter life maimed or without a foot, than to have two hands or two feet and be thrown into the eternal fire. 9 And if your eye is causing you to sin, tear it out and throw it away from you. It is better for you to enter life with one eye, than to have two eyes and be thrown into the fiery hell.

10 “See that you do not look down on one of these little ones; for I say to you that their angels in heaven continually see the face of My Father who is in heaven.

TODAY'S TAKEAWAY:

Being sovereign (omnipotent, omniscient and omnipresent), God sees, hears and knows everything.  God has always been and will always be.  He is eternal, and He created all things, including angels.  Just like mankind, it didn't take long for them to make a choice as to whether or not they wanted to follow and serve the Lord.  Unlike mankind, their decision was made final long ago.

We don't know how many angels or demons there actually are, but from the entire Bible, we know that there are a lot, about one third being demons (fallen angels), and two thirds being angels, and that there is a spiritual battle.  While they have quite a bit of power, they are not sovereign, and they cannot do anything without God either sending angels on a particular mission, or allowing demons to destroy, damage, distort or mislead.  (If you are interested, here is a link to my excel with notes from the spiritual battle Bible devotional readthrough) 

What does this all mean for us?  Well, God doesn't need a report from the angels to know that we have done something wrong, or that something wrong is being done to us.  Jesus gave the people this image of angels being present, probably because some people are fixated on the spiritual realm.  But God does not want us to worry about anyone or anything!  He desires that we keep our eyes fixed on Him, in a personal relationship.  Let God worry about where He sends His angels and/or how He protects us from demons who are only out to keep people from going to God!  Meanwhile, we are to trust what the Lord tells us, because He knows what is best, He has a plan, and He gives all of His children purpose, direction and help.

It is not a sin to be tempted, but if we begin to dwell on the temptations that we face, that becomes lust, which is a sin.  And of course, if we act on the temptations, that becomes sin.  Simply trying to NOT sin in our own efforts rarely works.  One has to replace a bad habit with a good habit.  Still, in our own efforts, this can be extremely difficult.  And the radical allegory suggested above, doesn't mean that we are to literally mutilate ourselves.  It is to repent and confess our sins to the Lord, which includes us turning away - staying away - from those things, those triggers - that will drag us back into the mud and mire.  

Repenting and confessing our sins really does set us free, as it allows the Lord to change us from the inside out.  And as we continue asking and allowing the Lord to work in us, for us and through us, in His strength, we will experience spiritual peace and victory in Him.  As well, in our walk with God, our desire will be to serve Him and others.  Living in His will is to be sharing the gospel message, mentoring, edifying and encouraging others to embrace a close relationship with the Lord... with everyone, including and especially with the weak, the vulnerable, the children!  

If we are not doing this, but instead, living for our own desires, in hypocrisy, this will become a stumbling block to those around us who are vulnerable.  This is really doing the work of Satan.  When we are being negative, doing and saying things that divides Christian groups, we are making Satan so very happy.  We are also displeasing the Lord, and grieving and quenching His Holy Spirit.  

Yet, God is so good!  Because He is loving and patient and full of grace, while we cannot lose our salvation, He will discipline us.  And this is not fun.  But this should not drive us further away from God, it should inspire us to run back to Him!  His arms are always open and waiting!!!  So, rather than living for our sins, living for God is so much better!!!  Not just for us, but for all those around us.  Yes, we will still struggle, but our testimony will be stronger and not hypocritical - if - we continue striving in God's will, and when we do sin, we continue confessing and running back to the Lord!

(Hebrews 4:14-16)  Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let’s hold firmly to our confession. 15 For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all things just as we are, yet without sin. 16 Therefore let’s approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace for help at the time of our need.

relationships (Matthew 18:1-6) To Serve vs To Be Served

(Matthew 18:1-6)

1 At that time the disciples came to Jesus and said, “Who then is greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” 2 And He called a child to Himself and set him among them, 3 and said, “Truly I say to you, unless you change and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven. 4 So whoever will humble himself like this child, he is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. 5 And whoever receives one such child in My name, receives Me; 6 but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to sin, it is better for him that a heavy millstone be hung around his neck, and that he be drowned in the depths of the sea.

TODAY'S TAKEAWAY:

Here we see the disciple's first attempt to find out who is "greatest" among them, although it's very subtle, isn't it?!  I'm pretty sure that this one disciple was really banking on Jesus saying, "OH, why, you are!"  It's like the person who feigns insecurity and self-deprecates, with the expectations that others will praise them and encourage them and give them all of their attention.

Well, the Greek word used for "greatest" within the disciple's question, besides being fixated on hierarchy and status, means to be literally or figuratively great, large, high, mighty, strong, loud... and older in years.  Interesting.  Because then Jesus gives us His definition.  

To just get into the kingdom of heaven, we must "change", be "humble", and become like children.  We must realize that we are NOT great!  We are sinners!  The Lord God is great (beyond anything we can ever imagine), and we need His salvation and His constant help and supervision - like a little child who depends on their parents for everything!  But our first step is to humble our hearts and realize our sinfulness and need, and recognize that the Lord is God and that we need Him.

The next step is to "change"...

Remember that God's kingdom goes in the opposite direction of the world.  The last shall be first and the first shall be last.  The greatest is the least of these.  Treat others as more important than yourself.  To be master, we must be servant, yet even a slave!  Strive not to be served, but to serve!  There should be no prejudices and no preferential treatment.  Can we do this in our own efforts?  Maybe a little.  But can we change our own hearts?  No!

From the original Greek word, the definition of "change" can also be translated to the word "convert", which is (literally or figuratively) to twist or turn quite around or go in reverse... to turn, and turn again, and turn back again... to turn one's back to one who no longer cares for you... to turn one's self from one's course of conduct... to change one's mind... to repent... for the ultimate conversion is to be strengthened from the base!

There is no stronger foundation than the Lord God.  The Lord is the only one who forgives, and the only one who can change us from the inside out.  It's our choice and decision to want this change, but it is the Lord who changes us, and covers us with His righteousness, and gives us His indwelling Holy Spirit, causing us to be spiritually born again... He adopts us as His children, to be our heavenly Father for all eternity!

Children are the most powerless and most vulnerable members of society.  While they are loved, they have no status, and no power or privileges apart from what they receive as total dependents on their parents.  But let's be clear here, this is not talking about us as parents doting on our children and catering to their every whim, enabling them to become spoiled, selfish and self-serving.  Our role as parents should emulate the Lord, in that we teach and equip them to become productive, fruitful adults who also have humble hearts, that of a servant, depending fully on the Lord, and in loving the Lord, striving to live in His will.

I taught our children that true success in life was to embrace their relationship with the Lord, trusting in Him and living in His will, all in His love, strength and guidance, all to His glory.  And recently, I heard an interview with a believer who is terminal.  Even with his very imminent death, his desire was to continue serving the Lord.  And as a father, he wanted to encourage his children to continue serving the Lord.  In fact, (and I like this idea very much)... whenever he saw his kids later in the day, instead of asking them how their day had gone, he would ask them, "Who did you serve today?"  wow.  I mean, everyday, I should be asking that of myself!  And then asking the Lord to help me recognize the opportunities that He gives me, and then help me to be open and ready to serve!