(Song of Solomon 4:7-16)
7 “You are altogether beautiful, my darling,And there is no blemish on you.
8 Come with me from Lebanon, my bride,
You shall come with me from Lebanon.
You shall come down from the summit of Amana,
From the summit of Senir and Hermon,
From the dens of lions,
From the mountains of leopards.
9 You have enchanted my heart, my sister, my bride;
You have enchanted my heart with a single glance of your eyes,
With a single strand of your necklace.
10 How beautiful is your love, my sister, my bride!
How much sweeter is your love than wine,
And the fragrance of your oils
Than that of all kinds of balsam oils!
11 Your lips drip honey, my bride;
Honey and milk are under your tongue,
And the fragrance of your garments is like the fragrance of Lebanon.
12 A locked garden is my sister, my bride,
A locked spring, a sealed fountain.
13 Your branches are an orchard of pomegranates
With delicious fruits, henna with nard plants,
14 Nard and saffron, spice reed and cinnamon,
With all the trees of frankincense,
Myrrh, and aloes, along with all the finest balsam oils.
15 You are a garden spring,
A well of fresh water,
And flowing streams from Lebanon.”
16 “Awake, north wind,
And come, wind of the south;
Make my garden breathe out fragrance,
May its balsam oils flow.
May my beloved come into his garden
And eat its delicious fruits!”
(Song of Solomon 5:1)
1 “I have come into my garden, my sister, my bride;I have gathered my myrrh along with my balsam.
I have eaten my honeycomb with my honey;
I have drunk my wine with my milk.
Eat, friends;
Drink and drink deeply, lovers.”
TODAY'S THOUGHTS AND MEDITATION:
This is the "honeymoon night"! From verse 12, it is clear that this woman was a virgin, and therefore we know that this couple waited right up until marriage. And using a garden metaphor, Solomon got his wife's consent, as well as described the moment of consummation, which God has blessed.
Even though there can be great personal passionate feelings pressuring one onward, the entire time, Solomon remained very gracious, gentle, and patient. This is actually not just for the other person's sake, but overall, it is far more enjoyable and beneficial for the entire outcome - for both spouses!
Now regarding the other person. If one were to become impatient, insistent and rude, this would not entice the other spouse. Therefore, Solomon spoke kindly and lovingly to his wife, and she was in full agreement. Therefore, not only should we NOT force love emotionally, it is definitely unacceptable to force love physically, even though a couple is married! THAT would still be considered rape!
And listen, "foreplay" begins long before anything intimate even happens! With each and every moment and exchange that happens throughout a day, week, month, etc... If a couple has been fighting, or if one spouse has done something to hurt or irritate the other, and the negative tensions have not been resolved, this will be a huge mood-breaker-turn-off... at least for one of the spouses. So keep in mind that, within the marriage, all your words and actions are considered "foreplay".
Now for a few simple but very important side notes...
How we smell can be very critical to the mood, whether it's bad breath or body odor! Not that we have to douse ourselves with perfumes, because that can actually be distracting, and even annoying to some. But, if we do smell bad and are told so, we should not be offended by this! Keep in mind that one can become "nose-blind" to our personal odors (whether in our homes or on our bodies); so if our spouse gently tells us that we need to "freshen up", even though we cannot smell it, obviously they can! Be considerate, and lovingly take that seriously.
Also just as important are the words we use. Now here, in verses 9 through12, note that "sister" was just an endearing term used in that culture, so it would not have been a "turn-off" for the wife to hear this term. But in our culture, that would not go over well, at all. So if there are cute nicknames or certain words or phrases that we use, or try to use, and our loved-one asks us not to... we should be compassionate enough to respect those requests.
Marriage is difficult! And requires work! Lots of work. Therefore, a marriage that works is one that is continually worked on. But hear this... the "work" can also be "fun". We should continue to date and woo our spouse! And because even in marriage, life itself is still simply tedious and monotonous, we can find ways to make the mundane aspects of life enjoyable. I don't know why couples think that once one is married, everything will somehow just become magical, or be like some sort of continuous rollercoaster ride.
Life continues on like it does. So if we are married, we just have someone to go through it together. And if one is still single, don't think that marriage is the answer to making life more exciting. It is only the Lord Jesus who makes us complete. It is only the Lord Jesus who fulfills and satisfies our lives, giving us a greater purpose. So whether single or married, we can "put the glory into the mundane." In other words, ask the Lord to help us use each moment to glorify Him. This is applicable to absolutely everything we do and say! Just as we are told in 1 Corinthians 10:31, "Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all things for the glory of God."
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