relationships (Song of Solomon 3:1-4:7) Trust vs Insecurites

(Song of Solomon 3:1-11)

1   “On my bed night after night I sought him
     Whom my soul loves;
     I sought him but did not find him.
2   ‘I must arise now and go around in the city;
     In the streets and in the public squares
     I must seek him whom my soul loves.’
     I sought him but did not find him.
3   The watchmen who make the rounds in the city found me,
     And I said, ‘Have you seen him whom my soul loves?’
4   Hardly had I left them
     When I found him whom my soul loves;
     I held on to him and would not let him go
     Until I had brought him to my mother’s house,
     And into the room of her who conceived me.”

5   “Swear to me, you daughters of Jerusalem,
     By the gazelles or by the does of the field,
     That you will not disturb or awaken my love
     Until she pleases.”

6   “What is this coming up from the wilderness
     Like columns of smoke,
     Perfumed with myrrh and frankincense,
     With all the scented powders of the merchant?

7   Behold, it is the traveling couch of Solomon;
     Sixty warriors around it,
     Of the warriors of Israel.
8   All of them are wielders of the sword,
     Expert in war;
     Each man has his sword at his side,
     Guarding against the terrors of the night.
9   King Solomon has made for himself a sedan chair
     From the timber of Lebanon.
10 He made its posts of silver,
     Its back of gold
     And its seat of purple fabric,
     With its interior lovingly inlaid
     By the daughters of Jerusalem.
11 Go out, you daughters of Zion,
     And look at King Solomon with the crown
     With which his mother has crowned him
     On the day of his wedding,
     And on the day of the joy of his heart.”

(Song of Solomon 4:1-16)

1   “How beautiful you are, my darling,
     How beautiful you are!
     Your eyes are like doves behind your veil;
     Your hair is like a flock of goats
     That have descended from Mount Gilead.
2   Your teeth are like a flock of newly shorn sheep
     Which have come up from their watering place,
     All of which bear twins,
     And not one among them has lost her young.
3   Your lips are like a scarlet thread,
     And your mouth is beautiful.
     Your temples are like a slice of a pomegranate
     Behind your veil.
4   Your neck is like the tower of David,
     Built with layers of stones
     On which are hung a thousand shields,
     All the round shields of the warriors.
5   Your two breasts are like two fawns,
     Twins of a gazelle
     That graze among the lilies.
6   Until the cool of the day
     When the shadows flee,
     I will go my way to the mountain of myrrh
     And to the hill of frankincense.

7   “You are altogether beautiful, my darling,
     And there is no blemish on you.

TODAY'S THOUGHTS AND MEDITATION:

At the start of this passage, Solomon's fiancée kept having dreams where she would rush about looking for Solomon, in fear of losing him.  So then when she did see him, she clung on to him, afraid to let him go until they were safely at her mother's house (probably where she still lived).  Once again, Solomon asked that love not be forced.

Agape love, which is a godly, sacrificial and unconditional love - is not a feeling, or based on a feeling - it is an action, as well as a choice.  Just as God does not force anyone to love Him in return, we are never to force or expect others to love us.  In that sense, Solomon assures his fiancée that he is committed to her, and asks her to acknowledge and deal with her insecurities, which could also be seen as a form of jealousy and lack of trust towards him.  He points out that the grand parade leading them towards the wedding ceremonies, and his obvious joy in the anticipation of their marriage, should be evidence of his commitment to her.  As well, he compliments her in order to calm her nerves.

Now, if you think that Solomon was the catch of all catches, we have to realize how human he actually was.  He was definitely not perfect.  And although eloquent in his writing and compliments, he uses some military terms, and some interesting imageries that (at least) I find kind of amusing.  So, even though we THINK we would love for our loved-ones to speak to us in this way, I would be like, "Ahhhh, sure... okay."  But, if and when our loved ones do make an effort to compliment us, and even if the words are somewhat awkward or seemingly uninspired... accept these efforts with a very gracious heart!  At least they are trying!!!  

And ladies, we know (or - we should know) that we are not perfect either.  And as confident as we might be, most of us are insecure about something, especially when it comes to our looks.  So if and when our loved ones tell us how perfectly beautiful we are... accept these compliments with a humble heart!  There is no need to put ourselves down regarding our hair, ears, mouth, nose, figure... whatever!!!  Self-deprecation is not only unhealthy for us, but it comes across as a desperate way to glean more compliments.  Simply humbly accept a compliment.

As far as our insecurities go regarding a relationship, we really need to be praying about it.  Just like in our relationship with the Lord, the more we know about Him, the more we get to know Him, and the more experiences we go through with Him, the more we will trust Him.  Although, men and women are not perfect, the more we get to know someone and see how they are in the world, at church, and with family, friends and with us, the better we can determine how trustworthy they are.  

When dating or engaged, if your loved-one is trying to tempt you into having sex before marriage... this is not trustworthy behavior.  It indicates a desire to be led by one's flesh, instead of being Spirit-led.  For this and everything else, our focus, as well as our loved-one's focus, should be on the Lord, and striving to live in His will, in His strength, wisdom and love.  In this we will find peace, confidence and trust.