relationships (Psalm 95:1-11) Humble Thankfulness Brings Joy

(Psalm 95:1-11)   Come, let’s sing for joy to the Lord,

     Let’s shout joyfully to the rock of our salvation.
2   Let’s come before His presence with a song of thanksgiving,
     Let’s shout joyfully to Him in songs with instruments.
3   For the Lord is a great God 
     And a great King above all gods,
4   In whose hand are the depths of the earth,
     The peaks of the mountains are also His.
5   The sea is His, for it was He who made it,
     And His hands formed the dry land.

6   Come, let’s worship and bow down,
     Let’s kneel before the Lord our Maker.
7   For He is our God,
     And we are the people of His pasture and the sheep of His hand.
     Today, if you will hear His voice,
8   Do not harden your hearts as at Meribah,
     As on the day of Massah in the wilderness,
9   “When your fathers put Me to the test,
     They tested Me, though they had seen My work.
10 For forty years I was disgusted with that generation,
     And said they are a people who err in their heart,
     And they do not know My ways.
11 Therefore I swore in My anger,
     They certainly shall not enter My rest.”

TODAY'S THOUGHTS AND MEDITATION:

It starts with seeing, hearing, knowing and embracing the Lord God Jesus Christ.  And then, this blessed relationship, which is everlasting, brings eternal life and joy!  

To bow down before God is to humble our hearts, to see our neediness (not only for His salvation but) for our constant help and guidance.  And then our actions of good deeds will follow, because it is the Lord who works in and through us.  

To begin each day with thanksgiving and praises, is to align our hearts with the Lord's will, to set us on the right path.  And then feelings of His peace, joy and contentment will follow.

To understand that the Lord created all things and that He is sovereign, is to know that we can trust Him in all things.  And then in His strength, we can experience confidence and courage in carrying out His will.

To grow closer to the Lord is to maintain a constant dialogue, talking to Him throughout the day, and studying His word and getting to know all of His traits, which include being holy, fair, just, faithful, unchanging, righteousness and truth.  And then our faith and love for Him will deepen, realizing that He will always steer us in the right direction.  He is our solid rock and firm foundation!

relationships (Psalm 94:1-23) True Love and Satisfaction

(Psalm 94:1-23)  Lord, God of vengeance,

     God of vengeance, shine forth!
2   Rise up, Judge of the earth,
     Pay back retribution to the proud.
3   How long, Lord, shall the wicked—
     How long shall the wicked triumph?
4   They pour out words, they speak arrogantly;
     All who do injustice boast.
5   They crush Your people, Lord,
     And afflict Your inheritance.
6   They kill the widow and the stranger 
     And murder the orphans.
7   They have said, “The Lord does not see,
     Nor does the God of Jacob perceive.”

8   Pay attention, you stupid ones among the people;
     And when will you understand, foolish ones?
9   He who planted the ear, does He not hear?
     Or He who formed the eye, does He not see?
10 He who disciplines the nations, will He not rebuke,
     He who teaches mankind knowledge?
11 The Lord knows human thoughts,
     That they are mere breath.

12 Blessed is the man whom You discipline, Lord,
     And whom You teach from Your Law,
13 So that You may grant him relief from the days of adversity,
     Until a pit is dug for the wicked.
14 For the Lord will not abandon His people,
     Nor will He abandon His inheritance.
15 For judgment will again be righteous,
     And all the upright in heart will follow it.
16 Who will stand up for me against evildoers?
     Who will take his stand for me against those who do injustice?

17 If the Lord had not been my help,
     My soul would soon have dwelt in the land of silence.
18 If I should say, “My foot has slipped,”
     Your faithfulness, Lord, will support me.
19 When my anxious thoughts multiply within me,
     Your comfort delights my soul.
20 Can a throne of destruction be allied with You,
     One which devises mischief by decree?
21 They band themselves together against the life of the righteous 
     And condemn the innocent to death.
22 But the Lord has been my refuge,
     And my God the rock of my refuge.
23 He has brought back their injustice upon them,
     And He will destroy them in their evil;
     The Lord our God will destroy them.

TODAY'S THOUGHTS AND MEDITATION:

God, who created the ears, eyes and brain, knows exactly what we are hearing, seeing and thinking.  Therefore He intimately knows all of those who have put their faith in Him!  It is all about having a close, personal relationship with the Lord God.  In this, we can know Him better by studying His words, written for us to cherish.  

As our perfect, heavenly Father who loves us, He will look after us, protect us, teach and discipline us, help and comfort us.  We do not have to worry or fear anyone or anything.  As David says in verse 19, God's comfort will delight our soul, even when things around us are falling apart.  So much more than anything this world can offer, and so much more than any other relationship can offer, it is in the Lord Jesus Christ that we will find true love, satisfaction and fulfillment.

relationships (Psalm 93:1-5) Control, Desires and Choices

(Psalm 93:1-5) The Lord reigns, He is clothed with majesty;

     The Lord has clothed and encircled Himself with strength.
     Indeed, the world is firmly established; it will not be moved.
2   Your throne is established from of old;
     You are from eternity.

3   The floods have lifted up, Lord,
     The floods have lifted up their voice,
     The floods lift up their pounding waves.
4   More than the sounds of many waters,
     Than the mighty breakers of the sea,
     The Lord on high is mighty.
5   Your testimonies are fully confirmed;
     Holiness is pleasing to Your house,
     Lord, forevermore.

TODAY'S THOUGHTS AND MEDITATION:

We are to be responsible with the resources that God has given us and take care of our environment as best possible;  but let us not delude ourselves into thinking that we can control or change the climate on a global level.  We see how one hurricane, tornado, mudslide, draught or rain system comes along and does a lot of damage, and we are unable to stop it.

We are not gods, and all other gods are manmade.  It doesn't matter how much one feels, thinks or believes something to be true... this does not determine truth.  Something is either true or it is not.  If there is a square object, but one prefers to see the object as round, or that the object doesn't exist at all, this doesn't change the fact that it still does exist and it is square.  One can say that "It is my truth and I have to be true to myself", but then one is only deluding and deceiving oneself.

Whether we feel helpless or feel like we have the power, we need to know that God has more power than all powers combined!  He made everything and everything is ultimately in His control.  Nothing happens without God allowing it to happen.  And the Almighty God wants everyone to know Him personally, and put their trust in Him completely.  But the only way we can have a relationship with God who is holy, is if we are holy, and this is only possible through Him, the Lord God Jesus Christ.  

We know all of this because God has given us His word.  And we can know that every word in the Bible is true, infallible and confirmed:  through the many testimonies in the Bible itself;  through scientific, historic and archeological findings;  and through the testimonies of what we and other believers have witnessed.  While the Lord is sovereign, because He truly loves us, He created us with free will.  Therefore, He will not force anyone to love Him back or be obedient to His will!  It is our choice to seek for truth, see truth, and accept truth.

relationships (Psalm 92:1-15) Being Positive

(Psalm 92:1-15)  It is good to give thanks to the Lord 

     And to sing praises to Your name, Most High;
2   To declare Your goodness in the morning 
     And Your faithfulness by night,
3   With the ten-stringed lute and with the harp,
     With resounding music on the lyre.
4   For You, Lord, have made me joyful by what You have done,
     I will sing for joy over the works of Your hands.

5   How great are Your works, Lord!
     Your thoughts are very deep.
6   A stupid person has no knowledge,
     Nor does a foolish person understand this:
7   When the wicked sprouted up like grass 
     And all who did injustice flourished,
     It was only that they might be destroyed forevermore.
8   But You, Lord, are on high forever.
9   For, behold, Your enemies, Lord,
     For, behold, Your enemies will perish;
     All who do injustice will be scattered.

10 But You have exalted my horn like that of the wild ox;
     I have been anointed with fresh oil.
11 And my eye has looked at my enemies,
     My ears hear of the evildoers who rise up against me.
12 The righteous person will flourish like the palm tree,
     He will grow like a cedar in Lebanon.
13 Planted in the house of the Lord,
     They will flourish in the courtyards of our God.
14 They will still yield fruit in advanced age;
     They will be full of sap and very green,
15 To declare that the Lord is just;
     He is my rock, and there is no malice in Him.

TODAY'S THOUGHTS AND MEDITATION:

I became a Christian when I was 4 years old, but as a kid, I was afraid to talk about my faith.  It didn't help that I was super shy.  Then in Junior High, because I didn't want to feel left out, I started to go along with the crowd here and there.  Guess what!  It didn't take long for those "friends" to betray me, and I wound up being left out, anyway!  Not just left out, but mocked, picked on and gossiped about.  

I was miserable and saw most things in a very negative light.  I then started to question my faith, or if there really was a God, and if there was, did He really care?  Was I a Christian just because my parents are?  Instead of seeking out the answers, I simply isolated myself, and my rebellion became more internal.

My parents would ask me what was wrong, but I didn't really know, and I had no words.  That next summer, my mom insisted I go on a Bible camp excursion.  It was after that, that I realized I had been missing out on communing with the Lord and fellow believers, and therefore missing out on God's blessings.  There was still an internal spiritual tug-of-war for a few weeks, until I finally found the humility and courage to confess and apologize to the Lord and to my parents.  

As I verbalized my struggles, as well as my intentions of getting back to walking with the Lord, everything changed at that moment, including my confidence in sharing my faith with others.  Like, God's peace, thankfulness and joy within me wanted to be expressed!!!  The more I grow in the Lord, the more strength and confidence I have in Him, the more I want to serve and express my joy in the Lord!

I actually could have avoided those dark times, simply by thinking through things with a more positive attitude.  It is okay to doubt and question, as long as we move forward in seeking out truth and discovering the answers and solutions.  We find these by praying to the Lord for His help and guidance, as well as studying the Bible, which are His words written to us so that we can understand and have clarity, discernment and His wisdom.  It also helps to have a close community of believers.

There will still be struggles!  We cannot avoid having struggles in our lives!  I just prefer not to struggle because of my own stupidity, shortsightedness and negativity... which really sprouts out of pride and selfishness.  When we start to believe that we know better, and we can do better on our own, to get what we want-when we want it, it is very natural to then become judgmental and negative.  We can even think negatively about ourselves, especially when things don't go our way.

It is when we understand and know that God is sovereign, and has a plan for us, and has only good intentions for our lives, that we can embrace Him and His will and approach things with a positive outlook!  It is when we read about and remember all the great things that God has done, is doing, and will do, that we can positively build a knowledgeable, thankful, joyful, humble confidence in Him.

relationships (Psalm 91:1-16) What or Whom Do We Fear?

(Psalm 91:1-16)   One who dwells in the shelter of the Most High 

     Will lodge in the shadow of the Almighty.
2   I will say to the Lord, “My refuge and my fortress,
     My God, in whom I trust!”
3   For it is He who rescues you from the net of the trapper 
     And from the deadly plague.
4   He will cover you with His pinions,
     And under His wings you may take refuge;
     His faithfulness is a shield and wall.

5   You will not be afraid of the terror by night,
     Or of the arrow that flies by day;
6   Of the plague that stalks in darkness,
     Or of the destruction that devastates at noon.
7   A thousand may fall at your side 
     And ten thousand at your right hand,
     But it shall not approach you.
8   You will only look on with your eyes 
     And see the retaliation against the wicked.
9   For you have made the Lord, my refuge,
     The Most High, your dwelling place.
10 No evil will happen to you,
     Nor will any plague come near your tent.

11 For He will give His angels orders concerning you,
     To protect you in all your ways.
12 On their hands they will lift you up,
     So that you do not strike your foot against a stone.
13 You will walk upon the lion and cobra,
     You will trample the young lion and the serpent.

14 “Because he has loved Me, I will save him;
     I will set him securely on high, because he has known My name.
15 He will call upon Me, and I will answer him;
     I will be with him in trouble;
     I will rescue him and honor him.
16 I will satisfy him with a long life,
     And show him My salvation.”

TODAY'S THOUGHTS AND MEDITATION:

A lot of these verses are prophetic.  And even though they refer to the Lord coming in flesh the first time, as well as His second coming where He will fulfill all covenants with Israel, there are verses that are certainly applicable to us today.

As believers, when we see people reacting to different circumstances in inexplicable ways, we might wonder as to why they are doing what they are doing.  It helps to understand that they don't have the certain hope that we have.  They will be angry, frustrated and fearful because their hope is only in some empty religion, in some cosmic fate, in nature, in a political party, in humanity, in another person, or in themselves!  So in trying to fight the ills of this world listed above (enemies, diseases and natural disasters), people scramble to do things in their own strength and thinking, for their own benefit, and to suit their own preferences.

Think about it.  What or whom we fear - is what or whom we actually honor, worship and serve.  Is it "peace" (getting our own way), or is it physical health and fitness, or is it nature?  Because all these things are not sovereign, not timeless or trustworthy, the fear will be very unsettling, and even terrifying!  One becomes a slave to the fickle battle of trying to find solutions and resolutions.  We cannot save ourselves, let alone save the world!  But when we fear, worship, honor and adore the Lord God Jesus Christ, we will find peace, joy, rest, security and freedom from sin!

As believers, we can know and be confident that the Lord is sovereign, is ultimately in control, and does what He promises.  He is just and faithful!  He gives us clear, timeless and relevant guidance in His word, which will bring us unity, joy and peace of heart, mind and soul.  He even tells us His plans and explains what has happened in the past, what we will face "today", and what will happen in the future.  

There will be troubles in our lives, but when we have made the Lord our refuge and dwelling place, we do not have to fear anyone or anything.  In our personal relationship with the Lord, we are to look to Him and call upon Him in all circumstances.  As we fear, honor and love Him, He will work things out for good.

relationships (Psalm 90:1-17) Finding Refuge

(Psalm 90:1-17)   Lord, You have been our dwelling place in all generations.

2   Before the mountains were born 
     Or You gave birth to the earth and the world,
     Even from everlasting to everlasting, You are God.

3   You turn mortals back into dust 
     And say, “Return, you sons of mankind.”
4   For a thousand years in Your sight 
     Are like yesterday when it passes by,
     Or like a watch in the night.
5   You have swept them away like a flood, they fall asleep;
     In the morning they are like grass that sprouts anew.
6   In the morning it flourishes and sprouts anew;
     Toward evening it wilts and withers away.

7   For we have been consumed by Your anger,
     And we have been terrified by Your wrath.
8   You have placed our guilty deeds before You,
     Our hidden sins in the light of Your presence.
9   For all our days have dwindled away in Your fury;
     We have finished our years like a sigh.
10 As for the days of our life, they contain seventy years,
     Or if due to strength, eighty years,
     Yet their pride is only trouble and tragedy;
     For it quickly passes, and we disappear.
11 Who understands the power of Your anger 
     And Your fury, according to the fear that is due You?
12 So teach us to number our days,
     That we may present to You a heart of wisdom.

13 Do return, Lord; how long will it be?
     And be sorry for Your servants.
14 Satisfy us in the morning with Your graciousness,
     That we may sing for joy and rejoice all our days.
15 Make us glad according to the days You have afflicted us,
     And the years we have seen evil.
16 Let Your work appear to Your servants 
     And Your majesty to their children.
17 May the kindness of the Lord our God be upon us;
     And confirm for us the work of our hands;
     Yes, confirm the work of our hands.

TODAY'S THOUGHTS AND MEDITATION:

God has always been our refuge, even before He created everything!  This means that He has loved and cared about us for all eternity... His love has no beginning and no end.  Liken this to saving ourselves for marriage... because we already love that person who will become our spouse and we are committed to remaining faithful, even before we know them.  

Like us deciding to have children so we have more to love, even though we know there will be bumps along the way, and we cannot force our children to love us back, it is worth it.  Just like that, God knew many people would reject Him, yet He still created us and He still came to earth in flesh to die for all of our sins!!!  For Him, it is all worth it, in order to give us the opportunity to choose to want to know Him personally, and love Him back, and humbly rely on Him as our salvation and refuge!

Now in the meantime, for us believers, there will still be bumps along the way.  But we have to realize that because we have placed our faith and trust in the Lord, our eternity is secure, and it is all very worth it!  And there are benefits and blessings in walking closely with the Lord and abiding in His will.

I remember a particularly long stretch of time in my life where I pleaded for God to just give me a break from all my troubles, and He did give me a break.  Although, after a few years, I started wondering when I was due for more troubles, since it had been a while.  Then, I thought back over the peaceful reprieve and realized that there had been "troubles" - I had just given them all to God for Him to sort out.  In all that time, I had been simply resting in His strength, wisdom, peace and guidance;  so there was a quick "note to self" - remember to do this - ALWAYS!!!

Being created in the image of our Creator, means that we will have a desire to create and build and work.  As believers, it should be our desire to have God approve of what we are doing.  And what is pleasing in His sight are the things we have done in His strength and guidance.  It stands to reason that whatever we try to do in our own strength and wisdom will fall short of what the all-knowing, all-powerful and eternal God can do.  So there's another "note to self" - always remember to ask God to do things in me and through me, as well as to do them FOR me!

relationships (Psalm 89:1-52) Faithfulness Requirements

(Psalm 89:1-52)   I will sing of the graciousness of the Lord forever;

     To all generations I will make Your faithfulness known with my mouth.
2   For I have said, “Graciousness will be built up forever;
     In the heavens You will establish Your faithfulness.”
3   “I have made a covenant with My chosen;
     I have sworn to My servant David,
4   I will establish your descendants forever 
     And build up your throne to all generations.” Selah 

5   The heavens will praise Your wonders, Lord;
     Your faithfulness also in the assembly of the holy ones.
6   For who in the skies is comparable to the Lord?
     Who among the sons of the mighty is like the Lord,
7   A God greatly feared in the council of the holy ones,
     And awesome above all those who are around Him?
8   Lord God of armies, who is like You, mighty Lord?
     Your faithfulness also surrounds You.
9   You rule the surging of the sea;
     When its waves rise, You calm them.
10 You Yourself crushed Rahab like one who is slain;
     You scattered Your enemies with Your mighty arm.

11 The heavens are Yours, the earth also is Yours;
     The world and all it contains, You have established them.
12 The north and the south, You have created them;
     Tabor and Hermon shout for joy at Your name.
13 You have a strong arm;
     Your hand is mighty, Your right hand is exalted.
14 Righteousness and justice are the foundation of Your throne;
     Mercy and truth go before You.
15 Blessed are the people who know the joyful sound!
     Lord, they walk in the light of Your face.
16 In Your name they rejoice all the day,
     And by Your righteousness they are exalted.
17 For You are the glory of their strength,
     And by Your favor our horn is exalted.
18 For our shield belongs to the Lord,
     And our king to the Holy One of Israel.

19 Once You spoke in vision to Your godly ones,
     And said, “I have given help to one who is mighty;
     I have exalted one chosen from the people.
20 I have found My servant David;
     With My holy oil I have anointed him,
21 With whom My hand will be established;
     My arm also will strengthen him.
22 The enemy will not deceive him,
     Nor will the son of wickedness afflict him.
23 But I will crush his adversaries before him,
      And strike those who hate him.
24 My faithfulness and My favor will be with him,
      And in My name his horn will be exalted.
25 I will also place his hand on the sea,
     And his right hand on the rivers.
26 He will call to Me, ‘You are my Father,
     My God, and the rock of my salvation.’
27 I will also make him My firstborn,
     The highest of the kings of the earth.
28 I will maintain My favor for him forever,
     And My covenant shall be confirmed to him.
29 So I will establish his descendants forever,
     And his throne as the days of heaven.

30 “If his sons abandon My Law 
     And do not walk in My judgments,
31 If they violate My statutes 
     And do not keep My commandments,
32 Then I will punish their wrongdoing with the rod,
     And their guilt with afflictions.
33 But I will not withhold My favor from him,
     Nor deal falsely in My faithfulness.
34 I will not violate My covenant,
     Nor will I alter the utterance of My lips.
35 Once I have sworn by My holiness;
     I will not lie to David.
36 His descendants shall endure forever,
     And his throne as the sun before Me.
37 It shall be established forever like the moon,
     And a witness in the sky is faithful.” Selah 

38 But You have rejected and refused,
     You have been full of wrath against Your anointed.
39 You have repudiated the covenant of Your servant;
     You have profaned his crown in the dust.
40 You have broken down all his walls;
     You have brought his strongholds to ruin.
41 All who pass along the way plunder him;
     He has become a disgrace to his neighbors.
42 You have exalted the right hand of his adversaries;
     You have made all his enemies rejoice.
43 You also turn back the edge of his sword,
     And have not made him stand in battle.
44 You have put an end to his splendor
     And cast his throne to the ground.
45 You have shortened the days of his youth;
     You have covered him with shame. Selah 

46 How long, Lord?
     Will You hide Yourself forever?
     Will Your wrath burn like fire?
47 Remember what my lifespan is;
     For what futility You have created all the sons of mankind!
48 What man can live and not see death?
     Can he save his soul from the power of Sheol? Selah

49 Where are Your former acts of favor, Lord,
     Which You swore to David in Your faithfulness?
50 Remember, Lord, the taunt against Your servants;
     How I carry in my heart the taunts of all the many peoples,
51 With which Your enemies have taunted, Lord,
     With which they have taunted the footsteps of Your anointed.

52 Blessed be the Lord forever!
     Amen and Amen.

TODAY'S THOUGHTS AND MEDITATION:

No matter how many questions David had, or how many times he felt he had to vent about his struggles, David still continued to bless the Lord!  It helps to know what God says in HIs word and remember God's promises in order to remain steadfastly striving in our faith.  It is the seeking after God that keeps us seeking after God, because He is faithful and gracious, and will provide whatever it is that we need!

Having a personal relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ helps us immensely with all other relationships, in several different ways.  Jesus is not only our perfect example of unconditional love, but He will help us in putting that into practice - because - this love is not something we feel, but something we do.  It is a choice to love someone, no matter what.  Therefore, it cannot have exceptions, and therefore it cannot accommodate unconditional approval.

For example, when a child does something (which is clearly against God's will) which requires disapproval, a parent doesn't stop loving that child.  When a child is under 18, the parent/s should apply appropriate discipline, while still exercising God's love and wisdom.  There are other sins which will "only" require compassionate and patient teaching and prayer;  like when a child struggles with their sexual identity, and even a child's choice not to become a believer.  And while sometimes tempting, we should never withhold love, even though a child (of any age) does something to create dysfunction within the relationship.  Continue loving and praying for them, while remaining available to them for reconciliation.

Now let's apply these verses to a marriage.  Whether one is married or not, these are good things to know.  If one is single right now, it is good to work on becoming the kind of believer who would already be a good spouse!

FAITHFULNESS is the key word found here!  Just as God is committed to fulfilling His promises and covenants, we are to remain committed - faithful!  This act incorporates other attributes, otherwise the relationship will struggle and fail.  

Understand, relationships will struggle!  None of us are perfect!  We cannot ever promise anyone that we will never hurt them, because we will. And they will hurt us.  Just like David expresses his struggles and questions throughout verses 38-51, and yet, he still remains committed in his relationship with the Lord, in blessing Him and striving to live in His will.

With God's agape, unconditional, sacrificial love, we cannot ever withhold our love.  Let's ask ourselves why we would.  This temptation comes out of anger, which is a secondary emotion.  We have to determine how we feel, whether disappointed, jealous, fearful, anxious... Now it is important to work it out together.  A working relationship requires work!  This requires listening, patience, compassion and understanding.  

If and when we are in the wrong, we need to humbly see our mistake/s, confess and apologize (whether the other person forgives us or not).  And when and if we are the one who is wronged, we must humbly forgive with mercy and grace (whether the other person apologizes or not).  It is when we hold grudges that we withhold.  And when we hold on to anger, we will become bitter and vindictive and seek revenge.  These things are the opposite of finding and establishing peace.

Each person should learn, understand and exercise God's justice, fairness and truth.  In this, we will avoid being deceptive or divisive.  In this, we will be able to trust each other, and feel safe, protected, accepted and loved.

Don't ask what you are getting out of a relationship, but ask yourself what you are doing to build and make the relationship stronger.  As the Lord helps us, and even came to earth in flesh to sacrificially serve us, as our perfect living example, we are to serve and help one another.  When we are all giving 100%, we will be receiving 100%.  This will help bring joy to our lives.  Not just in receiving, but there is such great joy and blessings in giving and helping others, especially our loved ones!  A marriage really is teamwork!  

While children should never be the glue to anyone's marriage, or be responsible for holding a family together, they should be involved in helping and serving the family.  Their responsibilities should be appropriate to their age and ability.  This will help equip and prepare them for their future.  If parents do everything for them, and never let them struggle through (doable) challenges, they will remain dependent.  As adults, they will assume that the world owes them, and they will have unfair expectations on others, especially in their own marriage.  Therefore, we need to teach our children to put their trust in the Lord, asking Him to help strengthen and guide them in all things!

While we are not to have favorites, meaning, we are not to be prejudicial in any way, we are to exercise appropriated commitment... Not to have favorites, but to show favor and devotion appropriately.  So, here we can see the importance of a true believer marrying another true believer!  God should come first in our lives.  Then, our spouse, because as God created us, the two become one flesh.  THEN our children (to be equally loved so that we don't create jealousy or sibling rivalry).  

If any of these things are out of order, things will become dysfunctional.  Like if a child comes before a spouse, the child will realize this and use this dynamic to get their own way, which will only create more friction and divisions within a marriage and family.  And when a child sees a marriage in trouble, they will experience fear and anxiety, because they rarely want their parents to divorce!  Or if a child sees that they are the ones who control the family, they will experience frustrations, fear, anxiety and anger, because what do they know?  They are only a child!  

If anyone comes before the Lord, they will quickly fail, frustrate and disappoint!  There isn't anyone who can take the place of God.  So, to have any healthy relationship, an extremely easy thing to remember is this:  the closer we all grow to the Lord, the closer we will all grow together, in His peace, unity and joy.