Sunday, 11 May 2025

relationships (Song of Solomon 6:3 - 7:13) Respect, Commitment and Faithfulness

(Song of Solomon 6:3-13)

3   I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine,
     He who pastures his flock among the lilies.”

4   “You are as beautiful as Tirzah, my darling,
     As lovely as Jerusalem,
     As awesome as an army with banners.
5   Turn your eyes away from me,
     For they have confused me;
     Your hair is like a flock of goats
     That have descended from Gilead.
6   Your teeth are like a flock of ewes
     That have come up from their watering place,
     All of which bear twins,
     And not one among them has lost her young.
7   Your temples are like a slice of a pomegranate
     Behind your veil.
8   There are sixty queens and eighty concubines,
     And young women without number;
9   But my dove, my perfect one, is unique:
     She is her mother’s only daughter;
     She is the pure child of the one who gave birth to her.
     The young women saw her and called her blessed,
     The queens and the concubines also, and they praised her, saying,

10 ‘Who is this who looks down like the dawn,
     As beautiful as the full moon,
     As pure as the sun,
     As awesome as an army with banners?’
11 I went down to the orchard of nut trees
     To see the plants of the valley,
     To see whether the vine had grown
     Or the pomegranates had bloomed.
12 Before I was aware, my soul set me
     Over the chariots of my noble people.”

13 “Come back, come back, O Shulammite;
     Come back, come back, so that we may look at you!”

     “Why should you look at the Shulammite,
     As at the dance of the two armies?

(Song of Solomon 7:1-13)

1   “How beautiful are your feet in sandals,
     Prince’s daughter!
     The curves of your hips are like jewels,
     The work of the hands of an artist.
2   Your navel is like a round goblet
     That never lacks mixed wine;
     Your belly is like a heap of wheat,
     Surrounded with lilies.
3   Your two breasts are like two fawns,
     Twins of a gazelle.
4   Your neck is like a tower of ivory,
     Your eyes like the pools in Heshbon
     By the gate of Bath-rabbim;
     Your nose is like the tower of Lebanon,
     Which looks toward Damascus.
5   Your head crowns you like Carmel,
     And the flowing hair of your head is like purple threads;
     The king is captivated by your tresses.
6   How beautiful and how delightful you are,
     My love, with all your delights!
7   Your stature is like a palm tree,
     And your breasts are like its clusters.
8   I said, ‘I will climb the palm tree,
     I will grasp its fruit stalks.’
     Oh, may your breasts be like clusters of the vine,
     And the fragrance of your breath like apples,
9   And your mouth like the best wine!”

     “It goes down smoothly for my beloved,
     Flowing gently through the lips of those who are asleep.

10 “I am my beloved’s,
     And his desire is for me.
11 Come, my beloved, let’s go out to the country,
     Let’s spend the night in the villages.
12 Let’s rise early and go to the vineyards;
     Let’s see whether the vine has grown
     And its buds have opened,
     And whether the pomegranates have bloomed.
     There I will give you my love.
13 The mandrakes have given forth fragrance;
     And over our doors are all delicious fruits,
     New as well as old,
     Which I have saved for you, my beloved.

TODAY'S THOUGHTS AND MEDITATION:
In verse 6:3, the wife remembers that her husband is hers and she is his.  Although, from verse 6:5, Solomon is still confused about where he stands in this relationship, so now it is his turn to recount the ways as to why he loves his wife... and by verse 6:12, we see that they have reconciled.  Whether or not there were apologies made, there was definitely forgiveness.  Maybe Solomon was afraid of being turned down again, or maybe he was just trying to be sensitive, or just maybe the wife was really eager for him to know how much she wanted him, but in verse 7:11, she was the one who initiated intimacy.
Now, there are hindsight lessons to be remembered, though!  Ladies and men, we should not be playing games!  With each other, or with others.
Of course, we know that Solomon had many wives and concubines, and perhaps this wife was jealous, even though at this point, it sounds like he was only having relations with her.  From verse 6:9, we see that the other wives and concubines understood that she was the blessed one!  And from verse 7:10, Solomon's desire was only for her.  We also know from the book of Ecclesiastes, that Solomon finally figured out that everything was vanity, even having many women, and that life was pointless, unless the Lord was in one's life and one is striving in the Lord's will.
We should never flirt with anyone but our spouse!  All of our sexual energies and playfulness should be reserved for our spouse, only!  The rest of the world does not need to know how sexy, sexual or desirable we are!  Flirting is never "innocent".  Even with our spouse, flirting without intention can be misleading and frustrating;  therefore, flirting with anyone else is a very dangerous idea.
We are told to avoid even the appearance of evil, so this in itself should stop us.  And we should know that flirting with others will hurt our spouse, just as it would hurt us if our spouse was doing the same thing.  As well, we don't know how the one at the receiving end of the flirting will take it, or how they might eventually react.  And, we never know how quickly we will fall into temptation.  We are still human and make mistakes.  And I have seen far too many marriages get into big trouble, and/or fall apart, because of this type of game-playing.  
The only one who needs to know how desirable we are - is our spouse!  Remember that pleasure is merely the outcome of sex, but the purpose of sex is procreation as well as experiencing oneness.  The two become one flesh, and remain one flesh.  I am my husband's, and he is mine!  
Because we are one flesh, if a spouse is dallying with another person, or even "just" looking at pornography, the other spouse will sense the drifting away and be troubled by it.  And the onus - the responsibility - should never be put on the other spouse to try to win back the affections of the dallying spouse.  Although these types of actions and behaviors show a total lack of respect, commitment and faithfulness towards the spouse, this is an issue of the heart!  This indicates an issue with that person's respect, commitment and faithfulness with the Lord.  
The only solution and answer is to confess one's sin/s, and reconcile with the Lord and with the spouse.  Because, with the Lord in our lives, as we both grow closer to the Lord Jesus, we will grow closer to each other.  As Solomon wrote in Ecclesiastes 4:12b, "...A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart."

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