relationships (Job 3:1-26) Venting and Processing Through Difficulties

(Job 3:1-26)  Afterward Job opened his mouth and cursed the day of his birth. 2 And Job said,

3  “May the day on which I was to be born perish,
     As well as the night which said, ‘A boy is conceived.’
4   May that day be darkness;
     May God above not care for it,
     Nor light shine on it.
5   May darkness and black gloom claim it;
     May a cloud settle on it;
     May the blackness of the day terrify it.
6   As for that night, may darkness seize it;
     May it not rejoice among the days of the year;
     May it not come into the number of the months.
7   Behold, may that night be barren;
     May no joyful shout enter it.
8   May those curse it who curse the day,
     Who are prepared to disturb Leviathan.
9   May the stars of its twilight be darkened;
     May it wait for light but have none,
     And may it not see the breaking dawn;
10 Because it did not shut the opening of my mother’s womb,
     Or hide trouble from my eyes.

11 “Why did I not die at birth,
     Come out of the womb and pass away?
12 Why were the knees there in front of me,
     And why the breasts, that I would nurse?
13 For now I would have lain down and been quiet;
     I would have slept then, I would have been at rest,
14 With kings and counselors of the earth,
     Who rebuilt ruins for themselves;
15 Or with rulers who had gold,
     Who were filling their houses with silver.
16 Or like a miscarriage which is hidden, I would not exist,
      As infants that never saw light.
17 There the wicked cease from raging,
     And there the weary are at rest.
18 The prisoners are at ease together;
     They do not hear the voice of the taskmaster.
19 The small and the great are there,
     And the slave is free from his master.

20 “Why is light given to one burdened with grief,
      And life to the bitter of soul,
21 Who long for death, but there is none,
     And dig for it more than for hidden treasures;
22 Who are filled with jubilation,
     And rejoice when they find the grave?
23 Why is light given to a man whose way is hidden,
     And whom God has shut off?
24 For my groaning comes at the sight of my food,
     And my cries pour out like water.
25 For what I fear comes upon me,
     And what I dread encounters me.
26 I am not at ease, nor am I quiet,
     And I am not at rest, but turmoil comes.”

TODAY'S THOUGHTS AND MEDITATION:

I'm sure all of us have come to this point of desiring death, or wishing we had never been born.  It's an easy way out.  But God has not only formed each one of us uniquely (Psalm 139:13-14), our days are numbered (Ecclesiastes 3).  We will only pass on when it is our time, but we can, to some extend, control the quality of our life as we live it.  Whatever we are dealing with, we will have choices to make as to how we eat, getting enough sleep and some exercise, not obsessing or stressing over things...

Was Job going to exercise?  No.  He definitely would have struggled to sleep, as well as struggled to eat.  I've had sores in my mouth to the point where I dreaded even taking a sip of water, so I can only imagine.  But, there can be physical limitations, as well as mental or chemical.  Like, with depression, one cannot just "pull themselves up by their bootstraps."  Sometimes medications and/or counseling is needed.  I'm not a doctor, but I will say this - when seeking treatment - pray that you find the right doctor/s, and pray for their wisdom.

I do have a physical disease that can cause anxiety, as well as moments of depression.  For me, what helps, is to acknowledge the feeling, then think through if there is a real reason for that feeling.  If there isn't any reason to be depressed, or if there isn't any reason to be anxious, I acknowledge that it is JUST a feeling.  I can move on!  I ask the Lord to fill me with His strength and courage, and/or His joy and comfort.  I also ask God to do things for me.  And things get done!  God is faithful.  When we ask, He does help us in our times of need.

Obviously there are times we may think about how much easier it would be to just be in heaven, than struggling through various issues.  God already knows that we are suffering, so it is more than okay to be honest with Him, to vent and process and ask Him the hard questions, we just need to make sure that we listen for the answers.  To question these things is to actually question God and His wisdom.

I mentioned my mom, yesterday.  Before passing on, she had gone through three rounds of treatments for her cancer, including two bone marrow transplants, and being quarantined in the hospital for half a year.  In her journal, she had written, "Sometimes I panic when people call me strong. Aren't the strong ones the ones who die?  'After a courageous battle with cancer'… 'she was brave to the end.'  The next day she wrote, "To ask God to be near someone seems incorrect. To ask God to help someone sense His nearness seems correct. Each person is the initiator of their own joy and peace. We have choice of direction, choice of where to find our state of mind."

I am now over a decade older than my mom was when she wrote this.  And I would love to tell anyone like her to continue on in drawing closer to the Lord, and to sense His nearness.  And we don't have to be strong on our own.  When we ask God for His strength, we are asking God to be strong for us.  Afterall, He is omnipotent!  More than able.  And He wants to.  

As well, I would love to tell anyone like my mom that by continuing to trust in the Lord, you are impacting others without even realizing the half of it!  I was in total shock to see how many people came to her funeral.  The big church was packed!!!  And half of them were nurses and doctors, because as they had treated her, they were perplexed at her positive attitude and joy, and would ask her about it. 

God created us with a purpose, and He knows when it is our time to "graduate".  Until then, our questions to God should become more about what He wants us to do right now.  And our actions should all be done in His strength and guidance.