relationships (2 Samuel 12:26-31) Lust Leads to Destruction

(2 Samuel 12:26-31)  Now Joab fought against Rabbah of the sons of Ammon, and captured the royal city. 27 Then Joab sent messengers to David and said, “I have fought against Rabbah, I have even captured the city of waters. 28 Now then, gather the rest of the people and camp opposite the city and capture it, or I will capture the city myself and it will be named after me.” 29 So David gathered all the people and went to Rabbah, and he fought against it and captured it. 30 Then he took the crown of their king from his head; and its weight was a talent of gold, and it had a precious stone; and it was placed on David’s head. And he brought out the plunder of the city in great amounts. 31 He also brought out the people who were in it, and put some to work at saws, iron picks, and iron axes, and made others serve at the brick works. And he did the same to all the cities of the sons of Ammon. Then David and all the people returned to Jerusalem.

(2 Samuel 13:1-39)  Now it was after this that Absalom the son of David had a beautiful sister whose name was Tamar, and Amnon the son of David was in love with her. 2 But Amnon was so frustrated on account of his sister Tamar that he made himself ill, for she was a virgin, and it seemed too difficult to Amnon to do anything to her. 3 But Amnon had a friend whose name was Jonadab, the son of Shimeah, David’s brother; and Jonadab was a very clever man. 4 And he said to him, “Why are you, the king’s son, so depressed morning after morning? Will you not tell me?” So Amnon said to him, “I am in love with Tamar, the sister of my brother Absalom.” 5 Jonadab then said to him, “Lie down on your bed and pretend to be ill; when your father comes to see you, say to him, ‘Please have my sister Tamar come and give me food to eat, and have her prepare the food in my sight, so that I may see it and eat from her hand.’” 6 So Amnon lay down and pretended to be ill; when the king came to see him, Amnon said to the king, “Please have my sister Tamar come and make me a couple of pastries in my sight, so that I may eat from her hand.”

7 Then David sent a messenger to the house for Tamar, saying, “Go now to your brother Amnon’s house, and prepare food for him.” 8 So Tamar went to her brother Amnon’s house, and he was lying in bed. And she took dough, kneaded it, made pastries in his sight, and baked the pastries. 9 Then she took the tray and served them to him, but he refused to eat. And Amnon said, “Have everyone leave me.” So everyone left him. 10 Then Amnon said to Tamar, “Bring the food into the bedroom, so that I may eat from your hand.” So Tamar took the pastries which she had made and brought them into the bedroom to her brother Amnon. 11 When she brought them to him to eat, he took hold of her and said to her, “Come, sleep with me, my sister.” 12 But she said to him, “No, my brother, do not violate me, for such a thing is not done in Israel; do not do this disgraceful sin! 13 As for me, where could I get rid of my shame? And as for you, you will be like one of the fools in Israel. Now then, please speak to the king, for he will not withhold me from you.” 14 However, he would not listen to her; since he was stronger than she, he violated her and slept with her.

15 Then Amnon hated her with a very great hatred; indeed, the hatred with which he hated her was greater than the love with which he had loved her. And Amnon said to her, “Get up, go away!” 16 But she said to him, “No, because this wrong in sending me away is greater than the other that you have done to me!” Yet he would not listen to her. 17 Then he called his young man who attended him and said, “Now throw this woman out of my presence, and lock the door behind her!” 18 Now she had on a long-sleeved garment; for this is how the virgin daughters of the king dressed themselves in robes. Then his attendant took her out and locked the door behind her. 19 Tamar took ashes and put them on her head, and tore her long-sleeved garment which was on her; and she put her hand on her head and went on her way, crying out as she went.

20 Then Absalom her brother said to her, “Has Amnon your brother been with you? But now keep silent, my sister, he is your brother; do not take this matter to heart.” So Tamar remained and was isolated in her brother Absalom’s house. 21 Now when King David heard about all these matters, he became very angry. 22 But Absalom did not speak with Amnon either good or bad; for Absalom hated Amnon because he had violated his sister Tamar.

23 Now it came about after two full years that Absalom had sheepshearers in Baal-hazor, which is near Ephraim, and Absalom invited all the king’s sons to celebrate.

24 And Absalom came to the king and said, “Behold now, your servant has sheepshearers; may the king and his servants please go with your servant.” 25 But the king said to Absalom, “No, my son, we should not all go, so that we will not be a burden to you.” Though he urged him, he would not go; but he blessed him. 26 Then Absalom said, “If not, please have my brother Amnon go with us.” But the king said to him, “Why should he go with you?” 27 Nevertheless Absalom urged him, so he let Amnon and all the king’s sons go with him.

28 Then Absalom commanded his servants, saying, “See now, when Amnon’s heart is cheerful with wine, and I say to you, ‘Strike Amnon,’ then put him to death. Do not fear; have I not commanded you myself? Be courageous and be valiant.” 29 And the servants of Absalom did to Amnon just as Absalom had commanded. Then all the king’s sons got up and each mounted his mule and fled.

30 Now it was while they were on the way that the report came to David, saying, “Absalom has struck and killed all the king’s sons, and not one of them is left.” 31 Then the king stood up, tore his clothes, and lay on the ground; and all his servants were standing by with clothes torn. 32 And Jonadab, the son of Shimeah, David’s brother, responded, “Let my lord not assume that they have put to death all the young men, the king’s sons, for only Amnon is dead; because this has been set up by the intent of Absalom since the day that he violated his sister Tamar. 33 So now, may my lord the king not take the report to heart, claiming, ‘all the king’s sons are dead’; but only Amnon is dead.”

34 Now Absalom had fled. And the young man who was the watchman raised his eyes and looked, and behold, many people were coming from the road behind him by the side of the mountain. 35 And Jonadab said to the king, “Behold, the king’s sons have come; so it has happened according to your servant’s word.” 36 As soon as he had finished speaking, behold, the king’s sons came and raised their voices and wept; and the king and all his servants also wept very profusely.

37 Now Absalom had fled and gone to Talmai the son of Ammihud, the king of Geshur. And David mourned for his son every day. 38 So Absalom had fled and gone to Geshur, and was there for three years. 39 And the heart of King David longed to go out to Absalom; for he was comforted regarding Amnon, since he was dead.

TODAY'S THOUGHTS AND MEDITATION:

Being tempted is not a sin, but lusting (savoring and dwelling on the temptation) and acting on the temptation is.  And besides acting on his temptation to sleep with his half-sister, Amnon chose to rape his sister.  As we can see from Amnon's reaction of hatred towards Tamar after he raped her, lust and rape are never about love.  It is important to note here that even if Tamar had not said "no", she still didn't do anything wrong, and she certainly didn't do anything to deserve being raped.

Added to Tamar's misery, her brother, Absalom, thought it best for her to keep quiet, and just "not take it to heart"!!!???  Wow, just don't let it bother you!!!???  So, the victim of rape shouldn't let it bother them, but those who love the victim can allow it to gnaw at their heart???  Absalom obviously hadn't "let it go", as he took revenge and killed his half-brother, Amnon.  

Under the Mosaic law, David was to execute Amnon, but by not dealing with this, Absalom not only took matters into his own hands, Absalom became more and more embittered towards his father.  We only create a bigger mess of things when we don't deal with matters.  For example, if we do not discipline our children, they will not learn or grow from their mistakes.  In fact, most often, because they got away with something, that must mean they can get away with more.  Problems tend to escalate, instead of working themselves out.  

Now, we can once again look at David's good example of how he mourned.  Amnon was gone.  There wasn't anything more David could do for that son.  Instead, David mourned for and focused on Absalom who was still living.  Absalom had also committed a crime which needed to be dealt with.  So, as he was still alive, there was still opportunity for him to turn around his life (his heart).

While this was and is the right reaction to have, later, David did not do everything correctly in dealing with Absalom.  But we can still learn from this one good point, as well as all the mistakes that were made.  And the biggest mistake in this entire chapter is that no one consulted with the Lord!  

Extra hindsight in all of this and what should have been done, should have started with Amnon confessing his sin of lust.  Jonadab actually had an opportunity to encourage Amnon to confess his sin.  And instead of giving Amnon diabolical ideas, Jonadab could have given him good ideas of how to avoid falling into sin and keeping himself accountable and away from temptation.  

When David heard about the crime, he should have acted accordingly.  While Absalom should have reported the crime sooner to the proper authorities and left it with them instead of taking matters into his own hands.  As well, he needed to console his sister and get her the help needed in dealing with all her emotions... which would have included going to the Lord for healing, comfort and peace, as well as asking for the Lord's help in forgiving Amnon so she could move on in life.

From all of this, we can see the importance of confessing our sins, instead of trying to justify them or thinking things like, "Eh, it's just a bit of lust..."  But look at all the heartache and destruction that ensued because of "just a bit of lust".  It all comes down to our relationship with the Lord and allowing Him to work in and through us, in all things!