(Genesis 27:46) Rebekah said to Isaac, “I am tired of living because of the daughters of Heth; if Jacob takes a wife from the daughters of Heth, like these, from the daughters of the land, what good will my life be to me?”
(Genesis 28:1-9) So Isaac called Jacob and blessed him and charged him, and said to him, “You shall not take a wife from the daughters of Canaan. 2 Arise, go to Paddan-aram, to the house of Bethuel your mother’s father; and from there take to yourself a wife from the daughters of Laban your mother’s brother. 3 May God Almighty bless you and make you fruitful and multiply you, that you may become a company of peoples. 4 May He also give you the blessing of Abraham, to you and to your descendants with you, that you may possess the land of your sojournings, which God gave to Abraham.” 5 Then Isaac sent Jacob away, and he went to Paddan-aram to Laban, son of Bethuel the Aramean, the brother of Rebekah, the mother of Jacob and Esau.
6 Now Esau saw that Isaac had blessed Jacob and sent him away to Paddan-aram to take to himself a wife from there, and that when he blessed him he charged him, saying, “You shall not take a wife from the daughters of Canaan,” 7 and that Jacob had obeyed his father and his mother and had gone to Paddan-aram. 8 So Esau saw that the daughters of Canaan displeased his father Isaac; 9 and Esau went to Ishmael, and married, besides the wives that he had, Mahalath the daughter of Ishmael, Abraham’s son, the sister of Nebaioth.
TODAY'S THOUGHTS AND MEDITATION:
Fixing a wrong with more wrongs - does not make anything right. It only makes things worse! In this circumstance, Jacob did not respect his father and Rebekah did not respect her husband. Game-playing is always wrong. It implies that there are opposing sides. God has always intended that a marriage is between one man and one woman, and the two become one flesh, and they are to be a team, working together. At the same time, Isaac could have done better. Isaac's own father first gave gifts to all of his children before giving the rest to Isaac. Why didn't he follow Abrahams good example? Meanwhile...
Esau did not do anyone any favors by marrying yet another woman! I've never been near a situation where there has been more than one wife. Once that deed is done, what can one do? Let's consider what God's will is. It is adultery to be with any other women other than your wife. Therefore, the first woman that he married was his legitimate wife. This is the one he should have stayed with, sending the other/s away. And then this is the marriage he should have worked on in order to build a healthy relationship.
Obviously, Esau could have chosen a better first wife. These days we can read the Bible and see for ourselves and pray for God to give us wisdom in all situations. And in going to a good church, we will become better equipped. As well, there is a great benefit in having parents who love God and strive to live in His will and teach their children. Isaac could have and should have helped Esau out in all these things. Maybe he did instruct Esau, but Esau chose to ignore the advice.
The main thing that Esau didn't do which would have pleased both his parents would have been to listen to his parents and their instructions. But even better and most importantly, each of us should live to please the Lord! There are some parents who are impossible to please, which will come across as rejection to their children. So what are some good things to keep in mind as parents?
- put our relationship with God first in our lives
- put our relationship with our spouse second. Not only will the children see how to nurture and maintain a healthy relationship with a spouse, but our children will actually feel more secure within the family unit
- be a parent who strives to be like our heavenly Father
- lead by example
- be consistent
- love our children no matter what they do or don't do, love should never be conditional and it should never have to be earned, it is to be given! Period! Don't be afraid to hug and kiss them everyday and tell them that you love them.
- teach them what is right and good, and how to walk with the Lord. The greatest success in life is to have a close walk with God!
- let them know when they have done something right and good
- don't overwhelm them with rules, even God has broken down His ten commandments into the greatest and the second greatest! Love God! And love others! I mean, I'm just saying... don't complicate things
- respect your children and teach them how to respect you and others
- definitely have fun with them, but you are still their parent, not their BFF
- talk with them, and very importantly, listen to them. Let them know and demonstrate that they can come to you with anything, any and all questions and issues (never be afraid to say that you don't know something but you will look into it... and then, look into it and get back to them) otherwise they will look for answers and solutions elsewhere (keep everything age appropriate)
- if they come to you with something that is unsettling, don't overreact or judge, but calmly, lovingly discuss what God's word says. Again, listen very intently. They may not even be struggling with that, but they just might want to know more about it and how should they react when their friends talk about such things
- help them think for themselves, to be reasonable, remaining level-headed so they can sort through things if you should not be around
- pray together, and be real in those prayers, praying about their actual issues and concerns
- know that we cannot control what they actually do. The more we try to control them, the more likely they will rebel and fight to get away from that control. Notice that God never forces Himself on anyone! Not even His own children!
- we cannot even make them have a personal relationship with God, this is their God-given personal decision they have to make for themselves
- don't expect perfection, allow them to make mistakes, showing them God's grace as God shows us grace AND patience. So much patience!!!
- parent with love, never parent in anger, never try to make them be afraid of you
- discipline appropriately only when they have DEFIANTLY broken a rule (having already clearly understood that it was wrong in the first place)
- although never justify their wrong actions, and don't "protect" them from appropriate consequences, but do protect them from unjust consequences (if they spilt milk while goofing around after you asked them to stop goofing around, have them clean up the milk! If they were driving while intoxicated and they have to sit in jail for a bit, let them sit in jail! That is an extreme example, but if you have been disciplining them appropriately from the start, you most likely won't have to deal with such extreme situations.)
- consider that everything is a learning opportunity. But don't be preaching at them, and don't get overbearingly religious! Not even God does this!
- after they have made a mistake and they are remorseful, demonstrate God's forgiveness and teach them what to do after they make mistakes: teaching them how to reconcile and make things right whenever possible
- and these are more things to pray about together!
- our job as parents is not to manipulate or try to cling to our children forever, but to equip them so they can go off on their own as independent and well-adjusted adults.
- will they still need us as adults? Most definitely! But in different ways! Continue fostering healthy relationships with healthy boundaries with each child.
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